Love in the South
by oh-jeez-louise
Summary: Edward, a man forced to hide his true self moves to Texas after a tragic accident. Can the hot Texas Ranger help heal old wounds and find the real Edward?
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: This is my first fanfic so please be nice. This story will mostly be in Edward's point of view. I want to thank OCDJen for her prereading and help and also dtav for betaing it for me.**

**Oh and obviously I don't own Twilight but a girl can dream**

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EPOV

For as far back as I could remember, I have always been plagued with feelings of isolation and insecurity . My mother would always tell me I was unique though I had a feeling she wasn't so happy about it, and was just being polite. Growing up in the small dreary town of Forks there was never a moment where I felt a sense of belonging. It wasn't as though I was strange or weird to look at, I just didn't seem fit in that well. I'm an impressive 6'2" with a decent build, dark brown hair with hints of red in it, almost bronze. I guess the only thing that looked a little out of place, even in Forks, was my pale white skin tone. It practically glowed in the dark. My pale skin, bronze hair and emerald eyes were inherited from my mother whereas my build and crooked grin had come from my father.

Both of my parents passed away in a car accident a little over two months ago. While they both were good people, I had a hard time relating to them and we were never particularly close. We seemed to have nothing in common apart from appearances and they always seemed to have an air of unapproachability to them. My mother, Elizabeth, was a classic housewife while my dad was Edward Masen Senior, the town's lawyer. Both were well respected in the small community.

My mother had my future planned out for me from the day I was born. The plan was that I would graduate high school and attend the university in Seattle. On the completion of my degree, I was to return home to Forks. On my return, I was to date and marry one of the local girls. Growing up I knew that this plan was not just a suggestion but rather what my future was going to be. My mother was a perfectionist and needed to control almost all situations and my life and future was one of them.

At the tender age of fourteen, I discovered that living my mother's plan was not going to be an easy task. Yet, not living it was not even an option. I discovered my attraction to the same sex while randomly surfing the Internet. There were moments before this day when my eyes had strayed during gym but I thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I happened to click on a link, not knowing what it was, only to find my computer screen filled with the image of two men in the throws of passion that I realized the significance of those gym classes. That day was definitely the first, but not last, time I jerked off to two men having sex. There was no doubt in my mind that I had to keep this side of myself hidden because neither my mother nor the population of Forks would respond well to me liking guys. It just was not something I would ever be allowed to pursue. I was to date and marry girls. Anything less would be unacceptable.

Despite knowing I was gay, I tried to please my mother and find a nice girl but the selection in Forks was rather dismal and none of the girls appealed to me in the slightest. In an attempt to fit in and please my mother, I dated a few girls. At seventeen I lost my virginity to one Jessica Stanley, not the greatest choice in the world. The few friends I had thought it was strange that I was the only one in the group still with my virginity so I thought 'what the hell' and gave it up to Jess at a party. It was a drunken, fumbling mess on the bathroom floor at the home of one of my friends. I can't say it was the most memorable experience, but at least my friends backed off for a while.

After Jess there were three other girls and the best word to describe those encounters would be awkward. Both parties got off, but once it was over I was still unsatisfied. My body was relieved but every other part of me found the experiences lacking and unfulfilling. Although having sex with girls was not something I wanted to do, I knew that I had too. Allowing my friends to question the reason behind my lack of interest in sex was too risky. In order to hide my secret I had to appear to be just like my friends so if they were out having sex with girls than that was something I also had to do.

As was specified by my mother, I moved to Seattle after I graduated to study Education and Music at the University of Washington in the hopes of one day becoming a music teacher. Starting university was a real eye opener. I spent the first couple of years studying and being as unsociable as possible. There was no desire to keep up the facade when I wasn't under the watchful eyes of my mother. To satisfy her I would phone home regularly discussing the new imaginary girlfriend that I had at the time. Coincidentally, we would always break up before I returned home for the holidays.

My last year was the best of my life so far. It was the year I met another gay man. Brad was a tall brunette with brown eyes and tanned skin. There was nothing feminine about Brad. He was a burly football player that drank beer like it was water. After a couple of months, we became really close friends. It started out just like any of my other friendships. We sat next to each other during a lecture and began talking. Deciding that I should be more social, Brad invited me to a couple of football games and we would regularly study together. I knew I was attracted to him but was unsure of how to go about approaching him.

Thankfully, Brad was the one to make the first move. Whilst studying for midterms in my dorm one night we decided to take a break and have some beers. Brad was the first person to ever give me a blow job and whilst more pleasurable than my high school experiences with girls, I was somewhat unsatisfied as I couldn't allow myself to enjoy it too much knowing I would be returning to Forks without Brad at the end of the year.

After about seven or eight beers, Brad and I were sitting on my bed laughing about something I'm sure wasn't even funny. Brad stopped laughing first and when I looked over to find out why, there was a look in his eyes I'd never seen there before. They were darkened and slightly hooded and rather than frightening me, his eyes seemed to excite me. Without warning, Brad leaned towards me and roughly joined our lips. This kiss was filled with passion. Eventually, we broke apart needing air. Not satisfied with this, Brad's lips started a path down my neck only pausing to remove my shirt. Once rid of the offending item, Brad's lips continued their journey downwards until they met the top of my jeans. In a move too fast for my drunken eyes, Brad had popped the button on my jeans and lowered my zipper. There was no time for hesitation when he quickly yanked my jeans down. In my beer filled haze I closed my eyes and allowed the sensations to wash over me. I could feel warmth and wetness coating my length. Mostly, however, all I could feel was pleasure and a sense of freedom at one of my secret fantasies coming to fruition. Too soon it was over and I was coming into Brad's mouth. When I came down from my orgasm, I glanced at Brad who seemed to have an expectant look on his face. I was not yet comfortable in returning the favor. Feeling as though he at least deserved an explanation about my hesitance, I explained to him that I would never be able to have a relationship with him beyond this year. He was quick to put my worries at ease telling me he wasn't looking to settle down and that we should just see where this year takes us. We would meet for three more "study sessions" before I was ready to return the favor. There was no way I was going to swallow but apart from that I have to say I definitely enjoyed myself.

Brad and I attempted a relationship which lasted around ten months. While I was happy, there was always my return to Forks hanging over us. About three months into our relationship, I figured once I graduated I would never again have the opportunity to be this intimate with a guy again so I decided to give Brad all of me. I hadn't ever been that satisfied or sore. Overall, I was happy for those ten months. Mostly, I felt alive and free. There was always a small part of me that was miserable and guilty knowing that we had an end date looming over us. After graduation, I stayed behind for a couple weeks to finish up where I was working. Brad had already left and I could feel my return to Forks already suffocating me so I decided to make the most of my remaining time. This was, after all, the last chance I would have to give in to my true desires. I visited a gay club four times over those two weeks. Those four visits resulted in four one night stands. From what I remember, their names were Mitch, Alex, Daniel and Jack. At least from these encounters there was no guilt because I didn't know them or owe them anything. I was able to let go and just enjoy myself.

My last year at university was one of my happiest to date. It was exhilarating having someone that I didn't have to pretend around and who actually turned me on. I cared for Brad, but I didn't love him. I knew I would miss him after graduation. At the end of the two weeks, I begrudgingly returned to Forks and back to my lonely and unfulfilled existence. Brad and I never spoke again after my return. I missed the friend and lover I had come to care for over those ten months but mostly I missed the person I was. It's hard enough returning to a life that you know you don't want but it's harder to return after you've had a taste of freedom and happiness. Trying my damnedest to suppress my thought of what I could have been, I returned to Forks and my mother.

When my parents passed I inherited their exceptionally generous life insurance and a weight was lifted from my shoulders. At the time I was dating Jessica Stanley much to my mother's delight. Practically from the moment of my arrival home, my mother had started pushing for me to date Jess. Apparently her mother was my mother's best friend and my mother thought we'd make a great couple. I managed to hold her off for close to a year before I caved and began a relationship with Jess. Jess and I were together for almost two years. The woman constantly droned on and on about getting married. Hell, I wouldn't have put it past her and my mother to have the wedding already planned and they were just waiting for me to propose to send out the invitations. When I heard of my parent's death, I felt both grief but also undeniable relief. It wasn't that they were bad people, they just wanted me to be someone else. Their death was my way out as I was no longer tied to this town or their expectations of me. Knowing I no longer had to please my mother, I ended my relationship with Jess.

Every spare moment I had was spent applying to schools all over the country. Only three weeks passed before an elementary school in Austin offered me a job. Tired and bored to tears with my monotonous and lonely existence, I decided to throw caution to the wind and packed up to move to Texas without a second thought.

Using some of the inheritance money, I acquired a two bedroom condo. Nothing flashy, just something comfortable that I could call home. I was eager to start my life. I was excited about finally not having to hide who I am and what gender I was attracted to. Moving to Texas was my chance at a fresh start, a new life. I would be able to lead the life I got a taste of during my time with Brad.

I had been in Texas for two days thinking and doubting my decision to move. In an attempt to get out of my head and calm some of the doubts, I decided to head to the bar down the road. It turned out that plan wasn't so great either as I sat at the bar thinking and doubting my decision. I was so used to having everything planned for me that I didn't know how to take advantage of my new freedom. So here I was staring at the door. I almost fall off my seat in shock when the doors opened. Picking my jaw up of the floor, I watched the people entering the bar.

The only words I had running through my head as I looked at the blond man walking through the doors were 'Holy fucking shit'. This man was easily 6'5", just a couple inches taller than me and blessed with a lean figure. His crisp white shirt accentuated the clearly defined abdomen and I could feel my mouth salivate with the desire to run my tongue over every indentation of that stomach. Eventually, I tore my eyes away from his torso and I felt my eyes water at the effort to stop them from wandering back to his abs. My eyes traced his lean creamy white neck until eventually they landed on his face. All the air in my body escaped me in what I could only assume was an audible gasp. His curly blonde locks peeked out from under a black cowboy hat. His vibrant blue eyes were watching me with poorly concealed humour and his delicious strawberry lips were pulled into smug smirk. I had struggled to keep my eyes away from his abs, but there was no doubt in my mind that I didn't have the will power to drag them away from those lips. Those plump, pink delicious lips that were begging to be nibbled on or, better still, wrapped around my cock._ Really Edward, wrapped around your cock? What? No hello, just suck my cock? _My heart raced as my mind conjured up ways of getting to know this cowboy. _Now he could ride me like a cowboy anytime he liked. _

Only now do I have enough brain function to realise that I have been inappropriately ogling a complete stranger. I was definitely attracted to Brad and he could get me hard, but it was nothing like what this stranger could do. My cock is as hard as a rock just from watching him walk into the bar, not to mention the fantasies flying around my head. If I kept this up, I might just start humping his leg like a dog in heat. _I wonder if he would object to that? _I shook my head and looked away in an attempt to break myself from the lustful stupor that his body caused. Unable to stop myself, I glanced back at the beautiful stranger.

My 'glance' at the blonde god turned into a full on eye raping again. It became apparent to me that around this man, my eyes and another piece of my anatomy, are out of my control. I noticed that he was wearing dark brown leather cowboy boots. The thought of this man and leather was going to keep me sitting on the bar stool for a little while longer. His lean legs were accentuated by tight dark blue jeans that clung to him in all the right places, places I would love to cling to. _Okay Edward, you need to reign in your inner horny teenager. Honestly, you weren't this horny when you were a teenager. _Completely ignoring that thought, my eyes traveled onwards and upwards to that damn white, crisp shirt. The same one that had me licking my lips from the desire to lick him. Only now do I realise there is a silver badge pinned to his chest. Oh holy mother of God, he's a Texas Ranger! Great, now my boner is beyond painful. I'm trying to think of anything to stop me from blowing my load right here at the bar. Would he have to arrest me for that? He could bring out the handcuffs. _Yeah, Edward, that thought is so not helping your problem any._

I didn't even know his name and yet I was barely able to stop myself from launching myself at this beautiful man and molesting him. Thoughts of molesting him were not where my mind should be wandering to in my current state. While I was staring, I noticed him nod his head at the woman behind the bar. Damn, that made me guess he wouldn't be so open to any advances I made, although he didn't seem too upset when he noticed me practically drooling over him. I drank the last of my vodka and decided to take a chance. Calling the cute, small, spiky haired woman over, I watched as she bounced over to where I was sitting. She was making me just a bit scared with her unexplainable excitement.

"How can I help you?" She asked me with the biggest smile I've ever seen.

"Um, I was wondering if you knew the blonde guy in the white shirt and black cowboy hat?" I questioned meekly, embarrassed to be asking her.

"Of course I do," she chirped in her high pitched yet melodic voice. "That's my brother-in-law, Jasper."

Well, at least now I knew there was nothing going on between them. _Jasper. _I let the name run through my head liking the way it sounded. Looking back over to Jasper, I noticed he was sitting at a table with his friends. They all seemed to be partnered except for another blond man that looked about a couple of years older than Jasper. I was assuming that this was his brother as they looked almost identical.

Jasper must have felt my eyes on him as he looked straight at me with a goddamn cocky grin. Great, the bastard knew he was beautiful and what he did to spiky haired girl broke me out of my staring contest with Jasper.

"I'm Alice, by the way, and you see that blonde man sitting next to Jasper?" I just nodded my head, not sure what to do with her friendliness. "That's my husband and Jasper's brother, Peter."

At least that confirmed my suspicions about the blonde. Not wanting to be rude to this girl since she was obviously close to Jasper, I introduced myself. "Hi, I'm Edward. I just moved here from Washington."

"It's nice to meet you Edward," Alice replied with a small smile which was quickly replaced by one full of mischief. She turned to leave and serve someone else but stopped, turning back to me and smirking. "Oh and Edward? His favorite drink is Southern Comfort on the rocks. Would you like me to send one over?"

_I think I'm really going to like Alice!_ So, with the biggest smile I could muster, I just nodded my head in the affirmative. She just smiled in return as I handed her the money before walking off to pour the drink for Jasper. The nerves set in now. What if he's not interested? Surely Alice wouldn't have encouraged me to send him a drink if she thought he wouldn't be interested. She's his sister-in-law, she would definitely know if he was gay. _Breathe Edward, breathe, because if you fuck this up for us you will die of blue balls. I swear to God you will_. Did my penis just threaten me? Not that I can blame it, Jasper is hot. Taking my penis' advice, I just took deep breaths with a small smile playing on my lips. I hadn't felt this alive since my college days with Brad.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Alice walking over to Jasper's table with his drink in hand. My eyes nervously followed her as I said a silent prayer to whatever deity there is out there that he didn't reject the drink. Alice leaned in and whispered something in his ear. Jasper's eyes flickered over to me and he tilted his head slightly while a small smile played on his lips. I watched him reach out and accept the drink. Embarrassingly, I almost jumped out of my seat and did a fist pump in front of the whole bar. Thankfully, I managed to reign myself in before showing Jasper what a tool I really was. I turned to face the bar trying to hide my goofy grin. Putting my hand up, I waved Alice back over for another drink because I knew there was no way I was going to be able to approach him, while he was surrounded by all his friends, without a little liquid courage.

"What would you like to drink?" Alice happily drawled out, her southern accent barely detectable.

"Just another vodka and coke thanks," I replied to Alice whilst thinking of how to ask her what the best way to approach Jasper would be. She smiled happily and started pouring my drink. Briefly, I wondered if she ever stopped smiling. Everything about her just seemed so joyous, that it was hard not to smile when she was.

Just as I was about to ask Alice her opinion on approaching Jasper, she giggled quietly. I was sure the look on my face was pure confusion about her random giggling. "Don't look now, but I do believe the blond cowboy you've had your eye on is on his way over."

There was no doubt in my mind that I looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He wasn't supposed to come over yet! I hadn't had a chance to plan out what I was going to say to him or gotten Alice's advice. I always felt more comfortable going into any situation with a plan even if it was only getting my hair cut. Growing up with my mother, you learned to rely on having a plan. Him coming over to me was not part of the plan. I could hear Alice's tinkling giggle which was probably due to the look on my face.

"Jasper, I would like you to meet my new friend Edward," Alice said trying to suppress another giggle. "He just moved here from Washington."

Friends? We had only just met and yet she claimed me as her friend. That Alice is a strange one. I wasn't sure I liked that teasing glint in her eyes or the way she was finding humor in this situation. But, I guess I could forgive her if it meant I had a chance to talk to Jasper.

"Hello Edward." Jasper's southern drawl was thick and sensual causing my mind to wander. "Thank you for the drink."

The temptation to fist pump the air reared its head again but I reigned it in. I couldn't stop the smile tugging at my lips as I replied to Jasper. "You're welcome Jasper. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Not yet it's not." Jasper mumbled so quietly I doubt I was meant to have heard. My heart raced as my mind wandered to the many ways in which I wanted Jasper to pleasure me.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I questioned with false innocence.

Jasper replied without missing a beat, "I said, it's a pleasure to meet you as well darlin'."

His voice was so sure that if I hadn't heard what he actually said I might have believed him. Jasper slid onto the stool next to me brushing against me ever so slightly. I could feel a warmth spread up arm my from where his brushed against it. There was no time to focus on that because my nose was filled with a smell unlike anything I've ever smelt before. _I wonder what cologne Jasper wears_? My mouth watered at the cinnamon, vanilla and musky masculine smell. _Would it be weird to lean over and sniff him? What would be a good excuse for sniffing somebody? _

Jasper's deep southern drawl broke me from my thoughts of sniffing him, probably for the best. "So what brings you to Austin, Edward?"

My dick twitched at the sound of my name coming from his lips in that accent. He asked me a question, now what was it again? Oh yeah, what brought me to Texas. I guessed that dead parents, feeling suffocated and having to hide the fact that I was gay in my hometown would not be a good conversation starter, so I opted for a much simpler answer. "I was offered a job at the elementary school and was ready for a change."

"Really, what do you teach?" Jasper seemed intrigued by this information.

"I'm a music teacher," I replied unsure about his interest.

Jasper just smirked at me and I had a feeling he knew something I didn't. He must have sensed my confusion because he said, "My mama is the principal and my twin sister teaches first grade."

I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Good in the respect that the chances of seeing Jasper again were high, but bad in the respect that if things progressed between us but then didn't work out, it could get awkward at school. Fuck it, I moved once and if things didn't work out, I would do it again. I had been sacrificing myself too long for other people. Now, I'm going to do what I want and right now I want is to get to know Jasper.

"Well, I guess I'll be meeting them on Monday." I replied smiling at Jasper. Thoughts about Monday reminded me that I still had lesson plans to do. Showing up unprepared would not make a good impression and now I had an extra reason to make a good impression on Monday. My boss, Esme Cullen, had always seemed nice over the phone. I glanced at the clock, and realized it was close to one in the morning. I still had some unpacking to do, and then I had lesson plans to get onto tomorrow so I couldn't be sleeping all day. Though a much larger part of me would rather stay here with the gorgeous southern cowboy next to me, I knew I really should get going.

"I have to go home as I have to get up early to unpack some more and do my lesson plans before Monday, but would you like to meet me for coffee tomorrow?" Usually I wouldn't be so bold, but there was no way I was walking away from Jasper without planning another time to see him again.

"That sounds great, darlin'." Jasper replied with a smile that left me breathless. He then gave me his phone to program my number in and I gave him mine for him to do the same. I agreed to call him tomorrow morning to arrange a time and place to meet. Jasper then sweetly offered to walk me out. I waved goodbye to Alice who was still smiling. She waved back with a wink.

"Well I should be going," I mumbled softly once we were outside trying to prolong my time with Jasper.

"Mmm, you should," Jasper replied quietly from behind me sounding somewhat distracted. Curious, I whirled around quickly to find Jasper staring at my ass. The urge to fist pump was there again but I beat it down deciding to do it at home where Jasper couldn't see me. At least there was no doubt in my mind that Jasper was attracted to me.

Taking a chance and praying with all my worth that Jasper wouldn't reject me, I leaned into him softly pressing my lips to his. I only wanted it to be a quick peck but when I felt Jasper's soft plump lips start to move under mine, I lost all self control. Pressing myself closer to him, I ran my tongue along his bottom lip begging for entry which he quickly granted. I massaged his tongue with mine acutely aware of his arousal pressing against my thigh and knowing he could probably feel mine against his. Eventually the need for air caused us to break apart panting.

"Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow darlin'." Jasper replied breathlessly before gently pressing his lips to mine in a quick peck.

"Yeah." I replied just as breathlessly. "I'll call you in the morning. I really should be going. Goodbye, Jasper."

"Goodbye, Edward." Jasper replied before turning to walk back into the bar.

Standing there, I watched his ass in those jeans walking away from me. My painful hard on was twitching at the sight. Once he was out of sight, I took off as quick as lightning back to my house to relieve this damn painful problem that the gorgeous Texas Ranger created in my pants. Eager to get home, I practically ran until I was at my door fumbling in my pockets to find my keys. During the exploration for my keys, my hand accidentally brushed against my extremely hard cock simultaneously causing me to hiss and speed up my search. Eventually after what felt like an eternity, I made my discovery and unlocked the door faster than I thought possible. At this point, I was actually worried that I would spontaneously combust or cum on my front doorstep. I rushed straight past the lounge and up the stairs to the bathroom, all the while throwing my clothes off. Finally, I arrived naked at the bathroom and proceeded to run the shower barely waiting until the water was hot enough.

Jumping in the shower, I rubbed my hands over my face and then let them slowly glide down over my neck past my collar bone, pausing once to meet my erect nipples. I moaned as my finger nails lightly grazed my left nipple, then my right. As I lightly pinched my nipple, I imagined Jasper's plump, pink lips wrapped around it and his pearly white teeth ever so lightly grazing over it. Jasper's dark pink tongue darts out of his mouth and traces a path from my nipple past my belly button until he reaches my dark red curls. With such vivid imagery of Jasper, I may cum without having touched myself.

Closing my eyes, I can see Jasper's nose, then tongue, journey all the way along my aching length. Then ever so slowly, he parted those two plump, strawberry lips allowing the head of my cock to enter into the warmth of his mouth.

With three strokes I cum all over my hand and the shower floor. Out of breath and completely spent, I slide down the shower wall, strangely the most satisfied I have ever been after a sexual experience. Three strokes and thoughts of Jasper was all it took to blow my load. Could that have been any more embarrassing?

_Oh hell yes Edward, it could have been much more embarrassing. Jasper could have been here and witnessed your inability to last. _Just the thought of Jasper being here in my shower was enough to slightly harden my cock again. I jumped out of the shower,dressed and walked into my room flopping happily on my bed. I closed my eyes ready for sleep to take me over. Right now I felt nothing but happy to have an unplanned future and a date with a gorgeous cowboy. This sense of freedom completely overshadowed what I felt back in college. Now there was no guilt or disappointment about having to return home hanging over my head. I was finally free to have the life I wanted and I could only hope that it contained a beautiful curly blond cowboy.

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**A.N: Well how was it? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: Thank you to all of you who reviewed. I didn't appreciate how important reviews were until I started getting them. Hopefully you guys like this chapter as well.**

**Also a huge thank you to OCDJen and dtav who had the joy of editing this chapter. Without them it would be a comma less mess. **

**I already gave the disclaimer in the last chapter if I didn't own it then, the chances are good that I don't own it now.**

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EPOV

The morning passed rather quickly in a blur of unpacking and lesson plans. Tomorrow would bring music with all the grade two classes, definitely my favorite grade of the lot. They're sweet and innocent at that age and yet to be corrupted by society.

While unpacking, I noticed that everything I owned had nothing to do with my taste or personality. _Seriously, why would I need that many pillows on my bed?_ The sad thing was, I had absolutely no idea of how I would like my place decorated as it's always been done for me.

Looking over at the clock, I realised it was now almost 11 AM. I had spent the best part of an hour sitting with my notebook in front of me trying to create a decorating plan. There was one small problem, well two in fact. One, I had no idea how to translate what I thought about myself and my personality into how I wanted my place to look once decorated. The other problem was, I had never had a say in anything before.

This condo was the first place to be completely and utterly mine. I could do whatever I wished. Paint it the colour I wanted to, and even have my bed in the middle of the dinning room if that's what I wanted. There was no one to stop me, no one to argue and say no. Whatever decisions had to be made, they were up to me. This should make me feel so liberated and free, yet I felt intimidated by the whole thing. Yes, if I wanted too, I could call someone in to do it for me. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to do this by myself.

Looking down at my notebook, I saw my list of all the things I considered to be my attributes. They were shamefully small. All I came up with was, Simple, Clean and Organised. Just how was I meant to translate that?

Time seemed to have flown by, and it suddenly occurred to me that I had not called Jasper yet. The dilemma of decorating had me so focused that I seemed to have tuned out the rest of the world. I really needed to make the call to Jasper as soon as possible but first I had to plan out what it was that I would be saying to him. _You could start with a greeting. dip shit. _Great, the old hag in my head just had to put in his two cents. This call was too important for me to risk saying something stupid.

There was something about Jasper that I found intriguing, other than how hard he made me from a simple kiss. Even in college the kisses were pleasurable and caused me to get hard, but never that quickly. _Hmm_, _those blue eyes and blond curls_...

Nope, I couldn't allow myself to think of that when I had a phone call to plan out. _Are_ y_ou honestly pansy enough to try and plan out a conversation? I mean really, could you get any more pathetic?_ It was perfectly normal to want to make a good impression or at least that's what I told myself.

After about ten minutes of deciding what was the best way to invite Jasper for coffee later this afternoon, I made the call with a lingering feeling of doubt that I just couldn't shake. What if he was just after a good time last night and wasn't really interested in anything more? _Then why would he give you his number, dickhead? Man up and make the damn call already. _Drawing in a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves, I picked up my phone to make the call. Happiness coursed through me at the liberty of being able to call a man for a date.

On a high from that feeling, I dialed Jasper's number all the while praying that it wasn't the number to some obscure pizza shop in New York.

"Hello," Jasper's southern drawl floated through the line causing me to release the breath that I had been holding,

"Hello Jasper, it's Edward." My voice was surprising confident despite the inner nerves that were ready to breakdown at Jasper's possible rejection. _Get your shit together before you screw this up for us, Edward_. Yep, that was my dick talking. Jasper seemed to have brought out his inner voice.

"Well, hello darlin'. I was hoping to hear from you today." The smile on my face was almost painful at the thought of Jasper, the cowboy god, waiting for me to call him.

His comment unknowingly filled me with the confidence that I needed to ask him out. "I was wondering if you were free around two for coffee?"

I held my breath in anticipation of his response. "Two sounds great. There's a little place across from the bar. We could meet there if you like?"

Releasing my breath, I beamed at the thought that he didn't reject me and had arranged a place to meet. The biggest concern that I had been facing all morning was where we were going to meet. I didn't want to seem rude and invite him out when I had no idea of where to go. Thankfully, Jasper solved that problem for me.

"Sure, that's just down the road from me. So I'll see you at two then?" A small part of me required confirmation that he would actually be there.

"Yep, sure will darlin'." I could hear what I assumed was a smile in his voice.

"Anyway, I should go because I've got a couple things to finish before this afternoon." Mostly I wanted him off the phone before I had a chance to fuck up the conversation or he cancelled on me.

"Okay then, I'll see you at two?" There was a trace of disappointment in his tone. I couldn't for the life of me fathom why. To my knowledge, everything that I had planned to say during the call had been covered. We exchanged greetings and arranged a time and place to meet. Nowhere could I see anything wrong with that.

"I'll see you then." I wanted this conversation over quickly so I had time to think about what to discuss during our date. There was no way I could go unprepared.

"Okay bye," Jasper replied quietly before he disconnected the call.

_Maybe he was distracted by our date later and that's why he was quiet._ That had to be it because there couldn't be any other reason for his quietness towards the end of the call. Things were great last night and he seemed happy that I called. _Maybe, just maybe, you're over thinking everything like you always do._ Deciding my inner bitch was right, I started to reflect on my meeting Jasper last night. His indescribable good looks, hard body and those damn lips. The way they felt against mine was incredible. Just thinking about that kiss made little Eddie stir in my pants. Turning my computer on, I figured it was best to relieve myself before the date if I had any hope of not attacking Jasper on first sight.

It truly was a surreal feeling to be able to open a gay porn video without having to look over my shoulder wondering if anyone could see. Despite the fact that I had my own place in Forks, I still couldn't relax when I was watching porn. I was always petrified that someone would pop by and discover my secret. Of course there was also the paranoia that anyone walking pass my place could hear the men moaning through the windows. Those reasons alone were why I hadn't visited a site in at least six months, maybe more. Most of the time, gay porn just served as a reminder of what I was missing. Gay porn triggered my memories of college and the great times I had. When I was stuck in a life I wouldn't wish upon any gay man, this would just cause my depression to rise.

Within minutes of typing in my favourite site, I was reveling in the naked men that filled my screen. The sight of that, combined with the thoughts of Jasper, had my cock standing to attention in seconds. As I watched the perfectly sculpted and groomed men fuck each other senseless, my mind began to wander to my own grooming. My curls are kept tidy and under control, but never have I thought to shave my balls or my ass. There was no way I would even consider having wax anywhere near there. My body has never been what one would consider overly hairy. My arms and legs have moderate amounts of hair and my chest has a barely visible light dusting of reddish, brown hair.

My balls and ass aren't something that had ever crossed my mind before. With Brad, we never discussed it. Brad had never said he wanted me to shave them, just like I hadn't asked him to. Back then, I was just happy to be with a man and not living some lie. Truth is, I wasn't sure if I would have been that comfortable to tell him to shave his balls. Now, though, I wasn't sure what to do.

Should I shave or should I ask Jasper what he prefers? I should wait. But what if I wait too long and then he goes to give me head only to be disgusted by my grooming habits? _Whoa there Edward, slow the fuck down. Just breathe and wait to ask him. Maybe he will be like Brad and not really have a preference and all this worrying would be for nothing. _ I drew in three large calming breaths knowing that I was probably freaking out over nothing. It would be an embarrassing conversation sure, but also not something I have to worry about until I'm sure Jasper even wants to go that far with me.

Glancing at the clock on the bottom right hand of the screen, I began to freak out slightly. _Holy shit! Where did the time go?_ I was so caught up in my thoughts and mini meltdown that I didn't realize that I only had an hour until I was supposed to meet Jasper and I hadn't even begun to get ready. Frantically, I raced to my wardrobe only to freeze in front of the doors unsure of the dress code for a coffee date. _Do I go casual or a bit dressy?_ Knowing that I had no time to stand there all day deliberating dress codes, I decided on casual. I grabbed my favorite jeans that hugged my ass nicely. There was no harm in showing Jasper what I had to offer. It was fairly warm so I decided to just wear a simple white t-shirt with my jeans. After putting on some socks and shoes, I walked into the bathroom and attempted to tame my unruly hair. One look in the mirror at the bronze mop upon my head, and I knew there was no hope. Opening the mirrored cabinet on the wall, I took out the small pot of wax and ran some through my hair. If anything, it would stop it getting worse.

With only twenty minutes left until I was due to meet Jasper, I had to speed walk to the coffee shop across from the bar. Arriving in front of the coffee shop, I checked my watch which informed me that I had five minutes until Jasper arrived. With all the time I had this morning, not once did I consider the possibility that I would be here before Jasper. So now I had no idea what to do while I waited. Did I wait out here or did I pick a table and wait inside for Jasper to arrive? _Damn it Edward, why didn't you think of this before you left?_ I mentally berated myself.

My inner loathing about not planning sufficiently was cut short by the vision in front of me. At some point while I was trapped inside my head, Jasper had arrived. With him standing before me, I noticed how all my memories and fantasies of him paled in comparison to the real thing. There was no way my mind could accurately remember the gift from the gods that was Jasper. Completely ignoring the fact that I did have manners, I continued to stare unabashedly at him. My lack of manners was not my fault. One look at Jasper and all I could focus on were my very, very bad thoughts about him. How anyone could look at him and still function was beyond me.

Jasper was clearly trying to make me cum in my pants in public. He was wearing a neatly pressed, deep blue, long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just below his elbows with those muscular forearms deliciously on display. _Seriously, you want to cum because of his forearms? You are a sick and twisted individual. _I chose to ignore that comment from the bitter harpy that resides in my mind.

Unfortunately for my dick, his forearms were the least of our problems. The painted on jeans that Jasper was wearing fit like a second skin and allowed me a great view of the amazing body under those jeans. _Now how do I make him turn around? _To round off the real life wet dream I was caught in, Jasper was wearing those damn cowboy boots. _Note to self, devise a plan to get him in nothing but those boots and hat._ Thinking about his hat, I forced my eyes to travel up to his face. His twinkling blue eyes and plump lips expressed his smugness. _Well damn, if I looked like him I'd be a smug son of a bitch as well._ I could feel my eyebrows pull into a frown by the noticeable absence of one cowboy hat. My lips pouted at the lack of a badge as well.

"What, no badge and hat today?" Even I could hear the whining in my voice. _My voice? Oh God, no! That means I said that out loud. _ _Great, now he will know how perverted I am_.

Jasper chuckled softly and the sound sent a soft humming throughout my body, like nothing I have never felt before. "No, no badge or hat today. I'm off duty."

If it wasn't for that sexy thick accent of his, I would still have been pouting like a little girl who dropped her lollipop. I took a moment to think over what he said and now I was confused. If the reason he was not wearing his badge and hat today was because he was off duty, then what was he doing at a bar last night? He wouldn't have been at a bar if he was on duty.

"But why were you at the bar last night if you were on duty?" My confusion haltered my ability to be tactful. Truthfully, I wasn't sure how comfortable I was about an officer of the law attending a bar whilst on duty.

"I wasn't on duty last night," Jasper answered without a hint of deceit. No doubt he noticed the confusion that had to be etched on my face because he continued on. "I had just finished my shift and was still carrying one of my guns. I don't take my badge off while I am still armed."

Ah, this at least made sense, although now I felt guilty for doubting him. Thinking back to last night, I couldn't feel a gun when I kissed him so where was it? Okay, now my mind was stuck on the many places in which Jasper could have had the gun. _Focus Edward, now is not the time._ No it's not, but later I will be spending a lot of time thinking about this. A lot of alone time in the shower will be spent considering Jasper's gun. Jasper, who I seemed to have forgotten was standing in front of me. The silence was slightly awkward and I had no idea how to break it. I stayed quiet in the hope that Jasper would direct the rest of the date.

"Well darlin', how about we head inside and grab some coffee?" Jasper's deep southern accent sliced through the silence and gave me an idea of what was to happen next.

"Yep sure," I replied, grateful to Jasper for leading the date. I've always had a problem with taking charge. Jasper smiled slightly and entered the coffee shop while I followed closely behind him. Close but also far enough away that I could watch every movement made by those snug jeans and firm ass. While we waited at the counter for our turn, I pulled out my wallet prepared to pay since I did invite Jasper out.

"I've got this," Jasper said firmly gesturing towards the cash register. A part of me wanted to argue that I invited him here, but the firmness of his tone caused me to keep my mouth shut and hastily put my wallet away. Finally it was our turn. Stepping up to the cash register, I noticed the busty blond that was busy eye fucking Jasper. Now I'm not usually one to get jealous, but the look she was giving him almost caused me to throw him down and dry hump him in front of her. _What the fuck Edward? He's not even yours yet and you're all possessive. Just chill the fuck out before you scare him off._

I was so caught up in my irrational hatred of the bimbo serving us that I barely registered Jasper's sweet southern drawl asking how I wanted my coffee. "Um, a skinny mocha thanks." I replied in a calm voice masking the jealousy that coursed throughout my body.

"And you?" The blond bimbo practically purred at Jasper. _Did she swallow a cat on her break? _Her climbing over the counter and attacking him would have been a whole hell of a lot subtler than her current behavior.

"Just a straight black, thanks." There was a slight tone of dismissal in Jasper's voice when he replied. So he was aware of how badly the waitress wanted him. _Hmm, I wonder what she would do if she knew we were here on a date? _I could always reach over and grab his hand. We've kissed, so surely he wouldn't mind. _No, it was decided that Jasper would set the pace not you. You know you wouldn't be able to handle being in charge and somehow I don't think it's his hand you want to reach over and grab._

My relationships with Jess and Brad had one thing in common. They always dictated how the dates would go. Actually, they tended to dictate how the whole relationship went. Although Brad and I weren't very public about our relationship, he always decided when we would get together and I would always work around his plans. I was happy and content letting them decide because I had no real idea of what I was doing and like my mother had always said, 'it was better that way'. The same goes for Jasper. It would be better if he decided what we talked about and how much we touched. There would be less chance of me making a dick of myself that way.

Jasper paid the hussy before he led us over to a table in the back corner. _Why so far in the back? Is he ashamed to be seen with me? _After that kiss last night, I had assumed Jasper was out of the closet. Maybe I was wrong. Jasper must have noticed the hurt in my eyes because he quickly explained. "I thought it might be nice to have some privacy so we can get to know each other."  
_  
_The smile on my face was so wide it started to hurt. He wanted to get to know me and sadly the urge to fist pump the air is there again but I managed to fight it down. No need to show Jasper what a freak I really was. Eagerly, I threw myself into a chair ready to get the date started. Jasper smirked slightly at my eagerness before he took the chair opposite me.

"Why don't you tell me about yourself darlin'?" Jasper's eyes did not waver from me when he asked his question. _There's a vague question if I ever heard one. What is there really to tell him about me that won't put him to sleep? _  
_  
_"Well, I'm twenty-six and I just moved here. I enjoy music and love teaching." Horrifyingly enough, that summed up everything about me. Never before had I realized how sad my life really was. I should tattoo loser on my forehead now. _Ease up on the self loathing there. Do you want to go in the bathroom and cut your wrists now or after your coffee? _I internally scowled at that bitchy voice in my head that oddly enough sounded like my mother. Perhaps now was the time to consider counselling. "There's really not much else to tell you."

"How about I tell you about me then?" He raised one perfect golden brow in question. I dumbly nodded my head in agreement too afraid to verbally answer in case some of the drool that had pooled in my mouth leaked out. "Okay then, I'm twenty-nine and have been a ranger for almost five years. I'm technically the youngest as Rosalie was born three minutes before me and the bitch won't let me forget it."

We both chuckled at that although I couldn't help but be jealous. Growing up I would wonder what it was like to have a sibling, someone you could tell all your secrets to. Perhaps if I had had a sibling then I wouldn't have felt so alone all the time and my mother would have had someone elses life to plan and she would have left me alone. There was no point in allowing my thoughts to go down such a depressing path now, I was sitting across from one fuck hot ranger who should have my full attention.

"As you know, my mama is the principal at the elementary school," Jasper continued on and I nodded in the affirmative. "Well, my dad is a surgeon at the hospital and my brother Peter is a mechanic along with Rosalie's husband Emmett."

The waitress and her plastic boobs brought over our coffees and Jasper spent the next twenty minutes telling me all about his job and family. Apparently, Jacob is his partner at work and Jacob's fiance, Bella, is Alice's business partner and best friend. They sounded like such a close bunch of people. I will admit that I was envious the whole time he was describing them to me. He was so happy and the affection he held for each of them was plainly written on his face. Sadness washed over me when he spoke of the close relationship he and Esme shared. My mind couldn't help but compare what he had with her to the nonexistent relationship I had with my mother. Jasper was lucky to have grown up with such a loving woman and honestly, I couldn't wait to meet her in the morning.

Rosalie, however, I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready to meet her. From Jasper's description, all I could gather was that she was a bitch that tended to have her claws out ready to claim one of your eyeballs until she warmed up to you, if she ever warms up to you. _I hope it's only eyeballs she wants to claw because I've become attached to the other balls on my body._ I'm pretty sure my penis agreed with me on this. The rest of his group of friends sounded like fun individuals and hopefully, Jasper would give me the chance to meet them. According to Jasper, Alice and Peter are as annoying as each other and sickeningly in love. I could have sworn that he looked a little jealous of that fact. It must be hard for him being the only one in his close group of friends that had yet to find love.

My attraction and desire to know Jasper kept growing with every word out of his mouth. He seemed compassionate, head strong and loyal, but most of all he seemed to have a mischievous side to him that I would love to explore.

Once Jasper had finished giving me the low down on his family and friends, we ordered another coffee. While we waited, I told him a bit about my life. I explained about my parents occupations, their recent passing and that we didn't have a close relationship. Embarrassed by my life and the drastic differences between Jasper's and my upbringing, I chose to leave out my mother's plan for my life and having to hide my sexuality from the whole small town. I was mortified to tell him that I had no friends that I was leaving behind. _Edward, you sound like such a great catch. A loner with no friends whose parents didn't like him. Yep, the men will just be flocking to you. _Oh, how I wished I could smack the harpy in my head around a little.

Things picked up when I went into a lengthy discussion about my love of pianos and all things music. Instead of looking bored as I assumed he would be, Jasper seemed genuinely interested. I couldn't help but smile. It felt great to share my passion with someone who actually was interested in hearing about it and why I loved it. I have to admit, that was a first.

Miss Silicone returned with our coffee just as I was about to tell Jasper about the reason why I became a teacher. She placed mine down in front of me and then leaned over to put Jasper's in front of him making sure that he got a good look at her plastic mountains in the process. _Yeah sweetheart, I don't think those do it for him. He's on a date with a man and you still think you have a chance? Delusional much? _Wow, when did I become such a mental bitch? _Right around the time you met Jasper_. There was nothing else to say. The voice in my head, the one that I may need medication for, was right this time. The whore bag's flotation devices managed to knock my coffee over and in Jasper's direction covering his crisp, blue shirt.

"Holy shit, that's hot!" Jasper all but yelled as he pulled the shirt away from his torso to prevent further burning. The color drained from the waitress' face. _Yep you ain't getting any, honey._ There was no controlling that voice. Because I basically wanted to grope Jasper, I grabbed a few napkins and began patting his shirt. _Don't lie Edward. You practically caressed his stomach, you horny freak. _ I chose to ignore that comment as I was only being a good Samaritan by making sure he was dry.

"Fucking hell. Now I'm all wet." Jasper's anger made his accent thicker and it caused my cock to harden. Apparently angry, swearing Jasper turned me on. _What doesn't turn you on about him? Shit, you probably get hard just by the way he breathes._

"My place is just up the road and I could lend you a clean shirt if you like?" I offered Jasper and hoped to God he would take me up on it. The thought of Jasper in one of my shirts caused my cock to twitch. I was starting to wonder how safe it was for Jasper to come home with me in this condition. Jasper threw me a grateful smile.

"That's sounds great darlin'. Lead the way." _Oh do I have to? The view is much better when you lead._ I seriously needed to stop thinking with my dick and with that in mind, I started leading us back to my place.

"Do you want to stay and watch a movie?" I asked Jasper as we reached my door as I really wanted to prolong this date.

"Sounds good." Jasper replied with a smile that sped up my heart rate. Once inside, I showed Jasper the lounge and told him to wait there while I went and got him a clean shirt. As quick as I could, I grabbed a black polo shirt and then hurried back downstairs to Jasper and handed him the shirt.

"Um, the bathroom is upstairs, second door on the right." I mumbled because all I really wanted to do was tear the shirt he was wearing off of him. That damn blue shirt had cooled and now clung firmly to his abs. My tongue so wanted to lick them. My mouth began to water at that thought.

"Nah, it's alright darlin'. I"ll just change here if that's okay with you?" Jasper asked politely but the look in his eye was anything but. I just nodded because really the thought of Jasper taking off his shirt in front of me had rendered me incapable of speech.

The son of a bitch then proceeded to slowly torture me to death. One by god damn one he unbuttoned that shirt. By the time he had arrived at the last button, I had unconsciously moved so I was standing directly in front of a shirtless Jasper. _Unconsciously, my ass. _ Unable to stop myself, and not really trying to, I leaned in and pressed my lips and against his plump ones. Jasper responded the instant our lips touched and he ran his tongue along my bottom lip. I couldn't open my mouth fast enough. His tongue massaged and dominated mine, and I swear that I was in a lust induced haze. It's the only way to explain what I did next.

Slowly, I moved my lips down the side of his mouth and let my tongue poke out between them. Allowing all my fantasies to come to life, I dragged my tongue down the side of his neck and his deep throaty moan mixed with the taste of his skin spurred me on. My tongue then ran over his left pebbled nipple, then the right one and I almost burst from the loud groan Jasper emitted. Finally, my tongue reached those abs and the flavor of Jasper mixed with coffee had me moaning. There was not a single groove, including his belly button, that was left unexplored by tongue. Honestly, there is not a more erotic sight than that of Jasper's abs glistening from being caressed by my tongue. My cock was aching from the vision before me and I had no idea how far I planned to go until I reached the button of his tight jeans that clearly displayed his enjoyment. From the outline in the jeans, I could tell he was a well endowed man and never before had I been so overcome with the desire to taste a man as I was at this moment. Looking up at Jasper, I begged with my eyes for him to allow me to continue. Jasper nodded and no sooner than a second later, Jasper's jeans were pulled down his thighs.

Sweet mother of God, he was going commando! Standing at full attention before me was the most glorious cock I had ever seen. _Edward, you've seen all of six cocks including your own._ That wasn't true. I had watched porn but none of those actors had anything on Jasper. He was long, hard and glistening with precum. Obviously he really enjoyed my tongue on his body. Trimmed blond curls framed his little ranger and his balls were shaved. Does that mean that I should shave my balls or should I still talk to him about it? _You're thinking about this now? _

I glided my tongue through his curls and down his solid length before I quickly lapped up his precum. I had never swallowed before because basically all the guys I have been with tasted like shit but damn, the taste of Jasper had me groaning. Too eager to taste more, I enveloped all of him in my mouth and sucked hard while my tongue massaged the underside of his cock. As I pulled my head back, I swirled my tongue around the tip. Jasper moaned and grunted loudly in appreciation. Taking all of him in my mouth again, I brought one hand up to his balls and started to massage and tug each of them. Jasper softly bucked his hips and his cock went deeper in my mouth making us both moan. Bobbing my head up and down his length, I swirled my tongue around the tip of his throbbing cock every time I came up.

"Ung... ah.. E-Ed...ward... I'm... cum," Jasper tried to get out through his string of constant moans. It was now or never. Now was the time I had to choose whether to spit or swallow. I looked up at Jasper and the sight was so beautiful my heart swelled. He had his head thrown back and his cheeks were flushed. I couldn't explain what I felt in that moment, but I just knew he was special. Plus he tasted so good.

Once I had made up my mind, I put both my hands on his firm ass holding him in place and sucked harder while I hollowed my cheeks which silently told him what I wanted. Jasper needed no more encouragement as his warm sweet, tangy and Jasper flavored cum shot down my throat. I kept swallowing until I was sure there was not a drop left. Strangely I felt proud, and although Jasper was the one that I pleasured, I felt satisfied and would definitely be swallowing for him again. Releasing Jasper from my mouth with a pop, I rose to my feet but not before giving him one last lick to clean him. That shit tasted too good to waste. I wonder if I could freeze it and make ice blocks with it. _You really are one sick freak. You want to make ice blocks out of his cum? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? _

Embarrassed by my thoughts, I focused my attention back onto Jasper and didn't even try to hide my smile as I watched him attempt to regain control of his breathing. I was too damn proud that I managed to put him in that state. Before he could see my proud smile, I walked over to my collection of DVDs, picked one out and popped it in the DVD player while Jasper pulled up his jeans and threw on the polo shirt.

"So how about that movie now?" I asked Jasper as I sat on the couch and patted the spot next to me. He looked confused for a moment.

"Are you sure?" He asked and I couldn't figure out what he was talking about until he pointed to little Eddie who hadn't completely gone away. Oddly enough, I didn't want Jasper to return the favor. I just wanted to sit down and watch a little Julia Roberts with him.

"I'm sure." I replied smiling and patted the spot next to me again. Jasper returned the smile ten fold as he sat down and wrapped his arms around me pulling me into his side. He bent down and kissed me softly on the lips before turning his attention to Julia Roberts in 'My Best Friends Wedding'. We stayed like that throughout the whole movie. Occasionally, one of us would interrupt with a comment or a story. Never before had I felt so happy and carefree as I did right now. Once the movie ended, we decided to call it a day as both of us had work the next day.

"Will you come over tomorrow night after work and I'll make us some dinner?" I wanted to spend us much time as possible with him.

"Of course I will darlin'. I get off around seven so I'll see you at around half past?" Jasper replied as he placed a sweet kiss on my lips.

"Okay, I'll see you then." I mumbled before I placed one last heated kiss on his lips. When we parted, he seemed a little dazed but a brilliant smile lit up his face.

"Goodbye, Edward." Jasper said softly as he turned to leave.

"Goodbye, Jasper." I said equally as quiet as I watched the golden cowboy walk away.

The rest of my night was spent eating dinner, rereading my lessons plans and having many fantasies about Jasper. I settled into to bed and thanked what ever God there was out there for Jasper, freedom and Texas Rangers. My eyes closed and I was almost asleep when my phone beeped.

_Goodnight darlin_

I squealed like a prepubescent girl meeting her favorite pop star before I replied to his message.

_Night Jasper_

My heart eventually calmed and I had the biggest smile as I succumbed to the darkness. My dreams would be filled with the memory of tasting Jasper because there was no way my imagination could top that.

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**Well let me know what you think. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. Hello all, sorry for the delay but life happens. Thanks to those of you who reviewed or added the story to your favorites, I appreciate it all. Well I hope you guys like this chapter.**

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EPOV

An incessant beeping from my alarm clock woke me out of my slumber. Pissed off, I slapped at the button to shut it up. Like the love sick fool I was, I reached straight for my phone to check if Jasper had sent me another text. Much to my dismay, no new messages awaited me. It was not quite six in the morning and already I was moping. I could tell it was going to be a long day.

Bitching and whining, I got out of bed and got ready for school. Today would be the first face to face meeting with my boss. We'd had many phone meetings since I accepted the job, but had yet to meet face to face. If meeting my boss for the first time wasn't stressful enough, I now had to deal with the fact that her son's cock was in my mouth less than twenty-four hours ago. _Best not to mention that to her, Edward._

Thinking of Jasper reminded me of our dinner tonight and the reason why I was up so bloody early. Wanting to impress Jasper, I had decided to make him pasta with a sun-dried tomato sauce and a dessert of homemade chocolate mousse. _Well aren't you a regular Martha fucking Stewart? Hoping to impress him so much that he bends you over the kitchen bench in thanks? _I scowled at the voice in my head because, yes, that's what I had been hoping would happen. Sure it was probably too early to even consider being bent over by Jasper, but it had been so long since I had felt the erotic touch of a man that I couldn't help but hope. If impressing him with my skills in the kitchen put me one step closer to that goal then I would make the best chocolate mousse he'd ever tasted.

Spurred on by my dirty ulterior motives for making the chocolate mousse, I made my way down to the kitchen. Not wanting to risk my chances by using some crappy chocolate, I melted the Belgium chocolate that I had in the fridge. Making the mousse was time consuming, but easy enough. I poured the finished mousse into two red ramekin dishes and placed them carefully in the fridge. That way, they would have the entire day to set. There was no way I was taking the chance that my mousse wouldn't be set in time to serve Jasper.

Esme wanted to see me this morning, at eight o'clock, for a kind of orientation meeting which meant I had a little over an hour to make myself presentable.

After showering and doing all the other necessary boring shit, I was out of my house and at school just before eight o'clock. The thumping of my heart increased with every step I took towards the office door of Mrs. Esme Cullen. I was pretty much packing it by the time I reached her door. My mind was racing with various scenarios in which she could tell what I had done with her son last night and was beyond pissed at me. The rational part of my brain knew it wasn't possible for her to know I had given her son a blow job the night before, but the irrational part of me was convinced that she would have a sixth sense about it. I needed to calm down before I hyperventilated or worse still, confessed everything to her. Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing before I knocked on her door.

"Come in." Answered a soft, sweet voice. With shaky hands, I reached out to turn the door knob. _Calm down Edward or she'll wonder why you're so nervous. Do you really want her to question the reason behind your nerves? _I forced myself to calm down because there was no way I wanted to explain to her what was making me nervous. After a couple of seconds, I opened the door and entered the office of the woman whose son made me drool. The moment my eyes landed on the woman behind the desk, I felt all the nervous energy leave my body. Everything, and I mean everything, about the woman was warm and friendly. She was around 5'5" and had the friendliest face I had ever encountered. Her blue eyes were identical to Jasper's and were open and inviting.

Esme's smile was so warm and inviting. Her whole aura screamed motherly, making me want to run to her and have her arms wrapped around me. She looked as though she would wrap you in her arms and hold you until you felt safe and secure, something my own mother never had. This was something I had longed to feel, to experience. My mother was more of a 'get up, dust yourself off and get over it' kind of woman.

Before laying eyes on Esme, I never really understood what people meant when they described someone as motherly. In terms of appearance and how they dressed, my mother and Esme were similar. Both women were well groomed and dressed in clothes that suited their figure tastefully. But, their mannerisms and the way in which they held themselves left you with drastically different impressions. Mrs. Elizabeth Masen was like a mannequin in a fashion shop, dressed for the part but lacking any actual functionality beyond looking pretty. Esme was the polar opposite, although her fashion and grooming was reminiscent of my mother's, she made you feel as though you could approach her about anything. Jasper was truly a lucky son of a bitch to be raised by a woman who seemed to have been created for the sole purpose of being a mother. I could only hope that when she found out about my attraction her son, she would still be so warm and inviting. I was so caught up in my comparison of her and my mother that when her voice interrupted my thoughts, I jumped slightly .

"Good morning, Edward. It's nice to finally meet you." Her tone was welcoming as she walked around her desk to stand in front of me.

"It's nice to meet you as well Mrs. Cullen." My tone was polite and formal. She took my hand and all I could think about was how that hand had been massaging her son's balls last night. Esme looked at me strangely no doubt noticing the guilt written all over my face. Instead of questioning me about it, she just smiled softly as she shook my hand.

"Oh don't be silly, it's Esme, dear." She mock scolded me. I was really going to like having her as a boss. "Follow me Edward, and I'll show you the staff room and then take you to the music room."

Esme signaled for me to follow her as she walked out her office. The staff room was a boring little room with a table, chairs, microwave and fridge. I was, however, in heaven the moment Esme opened the doors to the music room. In the far right corner was a baby grand piano and my fingers itched to play it. If it wasn't for the fact that Esme was standing beside me, I would have rushed over and my fingers would be gliding over the ivory and black keys. Two weeks was far too long to not play the piano. I still had to wait another four days for mine to be delivered to the condo.

The piano was my one respite from my life. By offering me an outlet for all the longing, anger, bitterness and loneliness I felt, I could let all the feelings out in compositions that no one knew the meaning of. If questioned, I would already have a fabricated meaning behind the song made up. Music truly was my sanctuary, my saving grace, that's why I loved teaching it to young children. In my mind, I'm teaching them a coping mechanism for when life feels like it's suffocating them. I instill in them a way to be heard in a world where no one listens. To me, that makes my job important and something to be taken seriously.

A soft throat clearing forced me out of my thoughts and back into reality. "So I take it you like the piano best?" Esme questioned me.

"I've been playing since I was five. It's definitely my favorite out of all the instruments I play." I answered her without once taking my eyes off the piano.

"Would you be so kind as to play me something?" Esme's eyes lit up when she asked. I guess she loved the piano also.

"Sure," I all but mumbled as I made my way over to the beautiful black instrument. With no idea of what to play her, my mind drifted to the many songs I have played or written over the years. My fingers met the ivory keys with no conscious instruction from me to do so. The music that sliced through the air was one that I was very familiar with and had played many times over the years. I wrote this song about a month after I returned from college and, although it was practically a diary entry of my anger, loneliness and depression, no one knew the real meaning to the song. Playing the song for Esme, here in the music room, made a difference in the melody. It was hope that was sneaking it's way through towards the end of the song. A small smile made it 's way onto my face as I thought about the reason behind my hope, Jasper. I was so lost in the song that it wasn't until I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder that I realized she had made her way over to me.

"It will get better." That was all her soft voice said before she turned and walked out of the room. My mind was reeling from that one short sentence. Was it possible that Esme was the first person to correctly decipher my song? Did I unknowingly let Esme read my emotional diary? There was no point dwelling on questions that I had no answers to, all I could do was take her words at face value. It would get better because it already was getting better.

The rest of the day was spent teaching the grade two's and the only interesting part of the day was lunch in the staff room. Unfortunately for me, I had my first acquaintance with Jasper's twin during my lunch break. The moment she walked into the small room there was no doubt she was his twin. They both were tall and, just like Jasper, she had blond hair and piercing blue eyes although unlike Jasper's, her eyes held hostility. The expression when her eyes landed on me was enough to make me want to crawl under the table and hide from the possessed lady. With an amazing amount of grace, she sauntered over and slipped into the chair next to me.

"You must be the piece of ass my brother wants to tap." She said with a straight face and thick accent. My mouth just hung open and I made no attempt to close it. I was dumbfounded that she would come out and say that to a complete stranger, and I thought I was a freak.

The corners of her mouth twitched when she observed my mortified expression. "Relax, I'm just kidding. I'm Rosalie by the way." She stated so nonchalantly as though that's how she greeted everyone.

"Hi, I'm Edward, but I guess you already know that." My voice was small as I was unsure what to make of her.

"It's good to finally meet you. Jasper has mentioned you a few times over the last couple of days." She sounded genuine, but I almost pissed my pants when she continued. "If you hurt my brother, sleep with one eye open because I will hurt you." What scared me the most was how deathly calm she was when she spoke, informing me that it wasn't an empty threat.

"I won't hurt him." I replied, hoping she could hear the sincerity in my voice. The answer seemed to appease her because for the rest of lunch she spoke to me as she would any other colleague. I didn't care that she wasn't being overly friendly, I was grateful that she was no longer looking at me like she wanted to chop me into small pieces and feed me to her cat. _Note to self, ask Jasper if Rosalie has a criminal record or a cat. Better yet, ask if any of his ex-boyfriend's are in the missing persons database. _

Once lunch was over I practically sprinted to the music room because, I'm not going to lie, Rosalie scared the fuck out of me. Thankfully, the rest of the day passed rather quickly so now all I had to do was focus on my making my dinner with Jasper perfect. During my drive home, I planned my evening making sure to leave as little as possible to chance. I ran through everything I needed to get done before Jasper arrived at seven thirty.

My first task when I arrived home was making sure the condo was clean and presentable. After I had gone through my house like an OCD person on crack making sure it was Jasper worthy, I headed into the kitchen and started organizing the sauce for my pasta. Not wanting to mess up either the sauce or my kitchen, I took my time. At around six thirty I had the sauce simmering gently, my kitchen and house cleaned, and all that was left was a quick check to make sure the mousse was up to standard. _Your bend me over the bench mousse? Yeah, don't wanna fuck that up._ The bend me over the bench mousse, as my dick affectionately referred to it, had set perfectly. The only thing left to do was to have a shower.

Knowing I had just under an hour until Jasper showed up, I had a nice leisurely shower. After washing myself thoroughly getting off any remnants of the pasta sauce, I shaved and dressed. _You could greet Jasper at the door in nothing but a towel. Pretend something along the lines of having had an hour long shower and then 'by accident' your towel could drop. _Ignoring my inner pervert, I put on my dark denim wash jeans and green button up shirt. I decided to forgo shoes as I was inside my own home. I hate people wearing their shoes inside, but for some reason I don't mind when Jasper wears his boots.

By the time I had made it downstairs, it had taken me forty minutes to shower and get ready leaving only twenty minutes until Jasper's arrival. Walking back into the kitchen, I put the saucepan on the hob to bring the water to a boiling point. This was all I had left to do until Jasper arrived. While placing the pasta into the boiling water, the doorbell rang.

"I'm coming." I yelled flustered. Jasper shouldn't be here for another eleven minutes. I threw the rest of the fettuccine into the pot and rushed to open the door.

My mouth went dry, my breaths turned to pants and all the blood in my body rushed to my cock as my mind registered what Jasper was wearing. During all my planning and being focused on making everything perfect tonight, it had completely slipped my mind that Jasper would be coming straight from work. Therefore, I was unprepared to come face to face with my Texas Ranger. I almost audibly moaned at the appearance of his black cowboy hat nestled on top of his blond curls. A crisp white shirt, which had his badge pinned onto it, was tucked into his dark jeans. I was definitely unprepared for him to rock up looking like this. My eyes just kept scanning him from cowboy hat to cowboy boots. My eyes noted the way his jeans clung to his lean legs and the way his shirt hinted at the toned abdomen under it. I was helpless to look away or to close my mouth which had fallen open slightly. Jasper must have been uncomfortable under my stare because he coughed in what I guess was an attempt to break me out of my stupor. _Stupor? Honey, you were looking at him like you wanted to eat him. I was getting worried there for a minute that you going to start humping his leg like a dog on heat. Oh, and Edward, invite the boy in._

"Sorry, please come in." I mumbled, moving to the side to grant him access. I avoided eye contact, embarrassed at being caught staring.

"That's alright." He spoke softly as he placed a finger under my chin forcing me to look at him. Jasper then placed a chaste kiss upon my lips before adding, "smells good in here, what's for dinner?"

Dinner, shit! I had completely forgotten about it. In a hurry to get to the pasta boiling away on the stove, I turned from Jasper and rushed into the kitchen hoping Jasper would follow. Thankfully, I reached the stove before it boiled over and I had to spend half the night scrubbing the stove top. As I was alternating between stirring the pasta and sauce, I saw Jasper take a seat at the breakfast bar out of the corner of my eye .

"How was your first day of school?" Jasper asked, as I continued to prepare our meal.

"It was interesting. I met your mom and sister today." I hesitated for a brief second before using the word sister because the word witch wanted to come out in its place.

The corners of Jasper's mouth pulled up into a small smile as he continued in a voice full of sarcasm, "That must have been fun for you."

Well, it was fun meeting Esme, but Rosalie, not so much. _The woman almost had you pissing your pants from one glare and you think it wasn't so great to meet her? That's an understatement if I ever heard one._

"They were, um, nice?" Jasper broke out into a deep, throaty laugh at my uncertainty.

"I hope Rose didn't give you a hard time. She can come on a bit strong sometimes." The humor in Jasper's voice gave away his amusement at me meeting his sister. They call her Rose? I guess it fits as she's pretty to look at but underneath, the bitch has thorns.

The pasta only took a couple of minutes more to cook. I dished up our plates and opened a bottle of red wine before indicating to Jasper that he should take a seat at the table. I had set the table so we would be sitting next to each other. I placed our meals on the place-mats before returning to the bench to retrieve our wine. Once everything was on the table and ready to go, I took my seat only to look over at Jasper and notice he was about to remove his hat. _Please don't let him take off the hat, _my penis silently begged in my mind. I should look up the names of some therapists.

"Please leave the hat on." I almost shouted at him and I could feel my cheeks turn a slight pink. Jasper just looked as though he was trying to smother a laugh. I'd rather be embarrassed then risk him taking the hat off.

"So how was your day?" I asked in a vain attempt to draw the attention away from my outburst.

"Not too bad, just the usual really." Jasper replied quietly with a distracted expression upon his face. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. My feeling was that I wasn't going to like what that look means.

"Edward, why don't you like talking about your hometown or childhood?" Jasper's tone was serious and his face confused.

Well shit, what do I say to that? I could lie or tell the truth, or I could tell the truth without going into too much detail.

"Um, well, growing up in a small town wasn't easy and I was never really close to my parents so it's not something I like to talk about." I answered, hoping he would let the topic go. One look at Jasper's face and I knew that he knew I wasn't telling him the whole truth but I just wasn't ready yet.

"You know I can tell you're not telling me something, right? I'll let it go, for now, but I want you to tell me when you're comfortable, okay?" I just nodded because I already knew that I would tell him one day when I figured out exactly how I felt about my hometown and childhood.

Thankfully, for the rest of the meal, we either ate in companionable silence or just discussed our days. Jasper told me more about his family, and what each of them was like. I couldn't help the envy that rose within me. Sure, I was happy that he had such a great family, but I was jealous as hell that my family was nothing like his. Eventually it was time for dessert and my chocolate mousse, a.k.a the bend me over the bench mousse. I just hoped that he liked it.

Carefully, I placed Jasper's dessert in front of him before I took my seat next to him. My cock twitched at the moan Jasper made as he had his first spoonful of mousse. There was no denying the amount of pride I felt at him liking my dessert so much. I didn't realize I was staring until Jasper looked up at me from under hooded lashes. That look alone caused my breath to hitch. Slowly, Jasper rose out of his chair and walked the couple of steps to stand next to mine with a undecipherable look in his eyes. Jasper then shocked the hell out of me by throwing one leg over me and coming to straddle my legs with his back resting against the edge of the table.

"W-What are you doing?" I asked, turned on and confused beyond belief.

Jasper just smirked at me as he took off his hat and placed it on my head before leaning over and whispering in my ear. "Just returning the favor."

I groaned as Jasper leaned back to look at me mostly because the move caused his warm ass to slide over my prominent erection. Confused as hell, I watched Jasper lean back towards the table and scoop some of the chocolate mousse onto his finger. What the hell was he doing? _It doesn't matter what he's doing, all that matters is that he is doing it on your lap. If you so much as think about stopping him, I will give you an infection so bad it will feel as though you are pissing through the eye of a needle. _

On that note, I kept my mouth shut as Jasper brought his mousse covered finger up to my neck drawing a chocolate line from just below my jaw to where my shoulder and neck met. Words and thought were incomprehensible as Jasper's tongue followed the path of his finger. I was so engrossed in the sensation that I hadn't noticed Jasper had begun unbuttoning my shirt until he had undone the third button. Now I was more intrigued then confused as to where this was going.

"It seems to taste better like this." Jasper answered in response to the look on my face and never once pausing in his efforts to undo my shirt. Finally, he had all the buttons undone and he slipped it off my shoulders. Jasper shifted so he was leaning over me. He then scooped more mousse onto his fingers and began trailing it down my chest and stomach stopping when he reached the edge of my pants. Feeling the warmth of his tongue as it trailed the zig zag pattern of the mousse was such an erotic contrast to the coolness of the mousse that I was unable to contain my loud moan. Occasionally, I could feel his teeth lightly nip the skin of my stomach causing my cock to harden beyond belief. The next thing I knew, Jasper was kneeling between my legs looking up at me with unbridled lust. How I didn't cum right then and there is a mystery to me.

"May I, Edward?" He asked whilst playing with the button to my jeans. _Really, he had to ask? My dick was so hard that it could poke his eye out and he thinks there's a possibility I could say no? There is no way in hell I would turn him down. _My head was nodding so vigorously that it's a miracle I didn't sprain my neck. Quicker than I could blink, Jasper had my button and zipper undone.

"Lift your ass for me babe." Jasper's voice was deep and husky accentuating his thick southern accent. A soft chuckle came from Jasper when I lifted my ass into the air at a speed I didn't even know I possessed. In one swift move, he had my jeans down, off and thrown somewhere.

"Commando? Well isn't this a nice surprise?" Jasper asked while smirking up at me. In all honesty, I had forgotten that I was going commando. I may have been hoping that the night would end with me jean-less. _Hey, it's better than wearing nothing but a towel for the entire meal, _my dick rationalized my lack of underwear for me.

"I.. uh..um." Whatever I was going to say was cut off by Jasper smearing chocolate mousse from my knee all the way up to my hip bone. My head rolled back causing Jasper's hat to hit the ground. His hot tongue followed the same path his fingers had done stopping to nibble at my hip bone.

"Fuck." Was all I could get out as Jasper's chocolate covered fingers traced from my left hip bone over to my right. When Jasper licked the chocolate from my hip bone passing the top of my pubic hair and ending at my right hip bone, I was in danger of cumming without any attention to my dick. The coolness of the mousse, the heat from his tongue, the pleasurable pain of his nibbles were all getting to me. I was ready to beg him to pay attention to my throbbing member as it was twitching like an epileptic having a fit.

Just as I thought I was going to burst or beg Jasper to show some mercy, the tip of my cock was suddenly freezing cold. It required all of my self control not to blow my load the instant Jasper's hot tongue swirled over my tip removing both the chocolate and my precum. Things, however, were almost over before they really began due to Jasper's loud moan in appreciation of my taste mixed with chocolate. The thought of Jasper liking the taste of me was enough to make my member leak like a fucking sieve.

My focus was only on breathing and doing anything but cumming as Jasper's chocolate covered fingers circled from the base of my dick all the way to the tip. I was panting so hard it resembled a panic attack as Jasper engulfed me in his warm, wet mouth. If that wasn't enough sensation to blow my mind, Jasper then hollowed his cheeks increasing the tight, pleasurable pressure on my cock. Jasper's swallowing around me and then moaning at the taste almost broke my willpower to prolong this experience.

"Motherfucker." Was all I could manage as I felt my tip hit the back of Jasper's throat. Jasper pulled back slightly. I groaned and practically writhed in pleasure on my seat as he then plunged his mouth back down forcing me to hit the back of his throat again. If he did it one more time, there was no way I would be able to hold off any longer.

"I'm...ah...fuck...going...to...cum." I managed to get out as Jasper continued his sucking on my hard as a rock dick. Rather than pulling back as I expected, Jasper sucked me harder and I hit the back of his throat. It was all over over then as I felt my orgasm wash over me. I could feel Jasper swallowing around me, milking me for all I was worth. Once I was completely drained, he released me with an audible pop.

I've had orgasms before, by both men and women, but never has one been so strong and satisfying. I watched Jasper take his seat again and then continue to eat the rest of his dessert with a shit eating grin on his face. He should be proud because damn did he have some skills. Eventually, I gained my wits about me again and pulled up my jeans, but I couldn't wipe the goofy grin off my face. _That Edward, my dear, is the result of being blown by a fuck hot cowboy. _I just shook my head at my strange thought.

"Well Edward, this is the best chocolate mousse I've ever had." Jasper said with a straight face, but the corners of his mouth were twitching showing his amusement.

"I'm glad you liked it." I replied with a slight tinge to my cheeks. If that's how he intended to eat it, I'd make it for him every time he came over. _Fuck, yes you will. I wonder if you can freeze the stuff? That way you can make up a huge batch, half a freezer worth, so you never have to worry about running out. _Is it just me, or does it seem like the longer I know Jasper the more I turn into a creeper? What's next, breaking into his house and molesting him in his sleep? _Well, first we need to go to his house and do some reconnaissance about where his room is and such._ There really is no limit to how perverted I am when my penis does the thinking for both of us.

After Jasper had finished his mousse, or what was left of it, he retrieved his hat from the floor behind my chair. Leaning over the back of my chair so his lips were touching the shell of my ear, he whispered, "I get why you wanted me to keep the hat on."

I let out a small laugh and hoped that there would be many more dinners like this to follow. I might have to test freezing the mousse. Maybe next time, Jasper will be the one wearing the hat and mousse.

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**A.N. So there you go, that's chapter three for ya. Please review and let me know what you think. I suddenly have a craving for chocolate mousse, although I think it would be yummier if it came with a side of Jasper. That boy knows how to eat his mousse. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N. Thanks to everyone who reviews or adds this story to their favourites, I really appreciate it. In the last chapter I forgot to thank OCDJen and dtav for all the work they do to make my chapters presentable, so thanks ladies. **

**As always read and let me know what you think.**

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**EPOV

During the rest of the week following Jasper's impressive way of eating chocolate mousse, we made some progress in our relationship. I guess that's how Jasper and I can be described now. There were no official declarations, but we were acting like a couple. From Wednesday night onwards, my bed's been warmed by Jasper although we have yet to have sex. The atmosphere between us is relaxed and comfortable. If I was being honest, I wanted Jasper to stay the night after our first dinner together, but I decided to wait until he suggested it. Excitement radiated out of me the moment he asked if it was alright to spend the night and he has not spent a night at his place since.

Most of the nights were spent talking and discovering what we could about each other. During these conversations I discovered Jasper had a short fuse when it came to his temper and he had an abundance of pet peeves. Encased in darkness wrapped in Jasper's arms, talking about unimportant matters, was the most content I have ever been. My happy, contented little bubble was burst on Thursday evening when Jasper informed me that I was invited to his family barbecue on Sunday. Personally, attending the barbecue sounded about as much fun as putting my wiener in a blender. Like the complete idiot I am, I actually agreed to the torture, I mean barbecue. He looked so happy and he really wanted me there, so I ended up agreeing even though it was against my better judgement.

So here we were Sunday morning, just after ten, getting ready to go to his parent's house. Inside I was a freaking nervous wreck but for Jasper's sake I tried to keep it well hidden, very, very well hidden. Meeting the family of your boyfriend, at least I think he's my boyfriend, is a new experience for me. When I met the parents of my girlfriends for the first time, there were never any nerves. I never wanted to be there and I never cared for them so therefore what their parents thought of me was irrelevant. Jasper's family and friends, however, were a completely different story. They had to like me, I had to try my hardest to get them to like me. By them I meant everyone but Rosalie, I don't think she likes anyone.

Last night I barely slept, the nerves were unbearable. I did not want to go but it was important to Jasper so I had no choice. That man has been walking around this place on cloud nine since I agreed to attend this barbecue, and I'm so glad my impending torture fills him with joy.

"Well babe, are you ready to go?" Jasper asked far too cheerily.

"Mmmm," I hummed noncommittally. I most certainly was not ready to go, but the sooner we left, the quicker it would be over. I hoped so anyway.

Grabbing my coat, I headed for the door following after Jasper. The journey to Jasper's parent's house was rather quiet. My mind was so consumed with the ways that I could fuck up this lunch that I wasn't in the mood to make conversation. Jasper must have sensed my discomfort, or maybe he was nervous about this lunch himself, because he didn't once try to make conversation either. Everything within me was screaming that I wasn't ready for this, that we weren't ready for this. Maybe I should have voiced my concerns over this to him. Even though I had decided that Jasper would set the pace of our relationship, it didn't make it any easier to meet his parents when I didn't feel ready.

After what felt like a decade, and yet all too soon, we arrived at the beautiful, large white house that Jasper grew up in. Mustering up all my courage, I got out of the car. With shaky hands, I closed the car door behind me, my only means of escape, and followed Jasper. This was so not going to be fun. The closer my feet drew me to the front door, the more dread that washed over me.

"Calm down babe, it'll be alright," Jasper whispered in my ear as he leaned past me to open the door. Not even able to verbally answer him through my nerves, I just gave him a weak smile that looked like a grimace.

Esme met us just inside the door and, thankfully, she was wearing her usual warm smile. Her smile seemed to ease some of my anxiety and her motherly charm made me feel at home. I barely had time to give Esme a greeting when I was rammed and encased in tiny arms.

"Edward, I'm so glad you came. It's good to see you again. I just knew you two would be cute together." I recognized the voice as belonging to Alice. _Does the girl ever draw in a breath? How the hell is a girl that small so fucking strong? _I couldn't help but wonder as I tried to pry Alice's arms from their locked cage around my waist. Once I had managed to free myself from Alice's vice grip, I noticed the woman standing behind her observing the scene with a small smile.

Alice noticed where my eyes had travelled. "Oh silly me, I forgot to introduce you to Bella. Bella's my best friend and Jacob's wife. Jacob is Jasper's partner. I think he told you that, didn't he?" I wasn't sure if I was supposed to answer. Quite frankly, she talked so fast that I only heard a third of what she said so I just nodded.

"It's nice to meet you." Bella greeted me politely in a shy, soft voice. At least she's not as full on as Alice as I don't think I could handle two of them. Although, I'd spend all day with Alice if it meant I didn't have to deal with Rosalie and her glare that makes me want to piss myself.

Unsure of what to do now, I looked next to me hoping to get some indication from Jasper only to find the space empty. Fear engulfed me as I thought about him leaving me here with strangers, alone. I didn't know what to say to them. What was the protocol here? I had absolutely no fucking clue what to do with these women.

"Jasper went to help Esme." Bella informed me, no doubt noticing my frantic searching for Jasper. He must have left when I was caught in Alice's death grip and was caught up in trying to decipher the words pouring out of her mouth.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled not sure what to do now. Alice, however, solved that dilemma for me when she started leading me down the hall and into the living room and forcefully placing me on the lounge.

"So tell us everything, I mean everything about you and Jasper." Alice said a little too excitedly. Not even allowing me a chance to respond, she continued on. "So have you had sex yet?"

Wow, does this girl not know what boundaries are_? Clearly not if she's discussing you fucking her brother-in-law._ Am I supposed to answer her? Tell her to mind her own business? No doubt my mortification was displayed clearly on my face. This had certainly never happened to me before. In fact, I don't think I've ever discussed my sex life with anyone before. Even during my relationships, men and women, I had never felt comfortable discussing what I wanted, or what I liked.

"Uh, we um haven't, ah, had sex yet," I manage to get out. Alice's eyebrows come together ever so slightly. She must be wondering what was wrong with me that Jasper hasn't tried to have sex with me yet. Over the last week, I've asked myself the same question. The most we've done is the reciprocal blow jobs and while I'm not sure we're ready for more, Jasper hasn't even tried once.

"Well if you haven't had sex yet what have you done?" Bella's shy voice asked. Great, now they were both looking at me with an eager expressions. Does the thought of two men getting each other off really excite straight women?

"Ah, isn't that a little personal?" I asked avoiding the question. This was definitely awkward.

"Sorry, we were just curious. You don't have to answer if you don't want, we just like to know." Bella spoke kindly trying to make me more comfortable.

"We'll be close and one day you won't have any problems telling us all the juicy details." Alice stated matter-of-factly. At least she was assuming that her brother would be keeping me around for a while, that's good right? I just stared at her unsure of what the suitable response to that would be.

Jasper walking into the room broke the brief silence. "Dad says the meat on the grill is almost cooked and that we should help bring out the salad and sides."

Standing, I followed Jasper into the kitchen to help take food out to the table outside when his hand placed on my arm stopped me. "We'll leave the girls to do this so I can go and introduce you to the rest of the family."

Under a patio in the large backyard was a beautiful long wooden picnic table. Gathered around the massive table was a rather large group of people. Ignoring the table completely, Jasper led me over to the grill where his father was. There was no doubt that this man was Jasper's father as they are almost identical apart from the ageing lines on the man's face. His blond hair with a few subtle streaks of silver in it, only added to his good looks

"Dad, this is Edward." Jasper sounded so proud as he introduced me to his father. My nerves were undeniable as I wondered how this doctor was going to react to meeting his son's boyfriend. Jasper had already mentioned that his parents were well and truly okay with his sexuality, but I couldn't help but doubt that, under all that understanding, there was disgust.

"It's nice to finally meet you Edward, please call me Carlisle." There was no disgust evident in his gentle, fatherly smile. From what I could tell, he was genuinely happy to have me here. Could he really be that okay with his son being gay?

"Uh, it's nice to meet you as well. Thank you for inviting me." I replied awkwardly.

"Anyway, you can talk later. There are others for you to meet, babe." Is it wrong that I was nowhere near as excited at the prospect of meeting more people, as he was?

Jasper then dragged, I mean led, me over to the large table and its intimidating number of occupants. Deducting the people I had already met, I was able to identify who the others were. Peter and Jasper clearly inherited their looks from their father and what a great gene pool that was. Peter was situated in between Alice and Rosalie. Rosalie welcomed me with a nice little death glare. She really was a sweetheart deep, deep down. I assumed that the huge brute of a man next to her was her husband, Emmett. The four of them made up the left side of the table. On the right was Bella leaning her head on a tanned brute of a man, who I'm guessing was Jacob. Did he and Emmett eat a small village or something? They were absolutely massive.

Jasper grinned at them all. "Guys, this is Edward.." Then, turning to me, he said while pointing at each person ."You already know Alice, then there's Peter, Rose, Emmett, Bella and Jacob."

Each of them mumbled a welcome, and unsure of what to do, I smiled a small smile and said hello back. Suddenly the table erupted with noise as everyone was engaged in different conversations. Having been an only child with no close relatives, family gatherings like this were foreign to me. I sat at the table slightly awkward and not sure what to do with myself.

Carlisle came over placing the meat in the middle of the table. Unsure of protocol, I held back until everyone else had chosen their meat. Jasper picked up my plate and chose a nice piece of steak for me, solving my problem of protocol. _My fine piece of meat, picked me out a nice piece of meat! _I thought to myself. Okay, the nerves were fucking with my brain.

Thankfully, I was seated next to Esme and Jasper. Throughout the lunch, the entire table engaged in conversation and I was able to learn a few things about them. Emmett, Jacob and Peter all had similar sense of humours. In other words, they each enjoyed taking the piss out everyone, myself and themselves included. Nothing they said was mean, just funny as hell. Bella was fairly quiet, although that may have something to do with the fact that she was talking to Alice. Well, technically Alice was talking and Bella was nodding her head occasionally adding a word in when she could. Rosalie was the pleasant person I had come to know at school. That beautiful, scary glare seemed to be a constant on her face, only changing into a soft smile when she glanced at Emmett. Carlisle and Esme added to each conversation and appeared happy to just be having lunch with their children.

While Jasper was talking to Peter about some bet that Peter lost and was refusing to pay up, Esme and I started chatting. She was telling me stories of Jasper's childhood, mostly stories that would embarrass him, but made me laugh and smile. Her funniest story, in her opinion, was Jasper's coming out. Esme was laughing when she told me of the "meeting" Jasper called. Carlisle and her sat on the couch for something like forty minutes while Jasper paced in front of them. Then getting all huffy, he walked out and said he'd be back in half an hour. When Jasper arrived back at Esme's, he was rather intoxicated and then proceeded to tell them he was gay. In his drunken state he went into a few too many details and Esme had to cut him off by telling him she was glad he finally told her. I asked her how long she knew for and why she never asked him about it.

"The moment I knew for sure was when he was around twelve and Peter would bring his friends home. Jasper would stare at every move they made. Although that was the moment I was sure, I always knew there was something different about Jasper. What was the other question? Why I didn't say anything?" I just nodded my head in confirmation. "I wanted Jasper to be comfortable enough with who he was to come to me. I wanted him to be ready and have enough trust in us to love him, regardless of his sexuality. Jasper had to come to us when he was ready. All I could do in the meantime was drill into each of my children that I would love them no matter what. The biggest rule in our house is that we judge no one. We accept all genders, races and sexualities. How did your parents react?" Her question was timid, suggesting she knew the answer wasn't going to be good.

"Oh, um, well, it wasn't what they wanted for me." I stuttered trying to leave out too many details. There was no way I was going to tell Esme about the plan I was supposed to live up to, and how being with a man was the dead opposite of said plan.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Esme told me quietly. Our conversation dropped off after that as I had too much on my mind. Something Esme said really struck me. She said she knew when Jasper was twelve that he was gay. Could my mother have known that I was gay? No, she couldn't. She wouldn't have pushed so hard for me to date and ultimately marry a women if she knew. Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe that's why she pushed so hard. No, no she wouldn't. No mother could be that cruel.

The rest of the lunch passed in a blur as I became stuck inside my head arguing with myself about whether my mother knew or not. I couldn't, or didn't want to, believe that my mother would do something like that. She may have been overbearing and liked things her way, but I was her son and she loved me. Although we weren't close and she wasn't one for showing much emotion, I know she loved me. Every mother loves their child, right?

Jasper and I barely spoke on the ride home. My emotions and thoughts were beginning to overwhelm me. The doubt in my mother wouldn't leave me, and was now mixed with guilt. What sort of son was I, that I could doubt her? I was still wrapped up in myself when we arrived back at my place. Mechanically I got out of the car, unlocked the door, walked up to my room, and laid down on the bed. The argument in my mind combined with my conflicting emotions made me want to scream. I hadn't realized that a tear had slid down my cheek, or that Jasper was next to me, until I felt him wipe the tear away.

"Edward, babe, you have to tell me what's wrong." Jasper's voice sounded slightly frantic. Had he been trying to talk to me and I was unresponsive? How long had I been locked in my mind?

"Please, talk to me Edward and tell me what's going on." Jasper pleaded with me. Sorry for causing him to worry, I contemplated what exactly I should tell him.

I told Jasper about the conversation I had with Esme and how it made me wonder about whether or not my parents knew. Not wanting to give him too many details and avoiding telling him about the plan, I explained that my mother was so insistent that I dated only girls. Feeling lighter at being able to tell someone something about this, I went on to explain that she would push girls on me. Finally I came to the reason for my shutting down, my doubt and guilt. Jasper sat there quietly, letting me get it all out. I explained my guilt for thinking bad of her even though she wasn't overly affectionate towards me. Getting this out, even though I wasn't telling him everything, felt good. It felt like some weight had been lifted off my chest.

Once I was finished, Jasper just held me and told me that only I would know if she loved me. He also whispered quietly in my ear that wondering if she knew about my being gay was a good question.

Curling into his side, I let his loving embrace calm and relax me. Completely exhausted from the stressful day I had suffered, my eyes began to close. In my semi-conscious state, I felt Jasper untangle himself from me and rise up off the bed.

I threw my hand out and gripped his arm. "Please just hold me for a little while." I didn't care how pathetic I sounded, I needed the comfort and security that being in Jasper's arms offered.

He leaned over me and kissed my forehead before whispering in my ear. "I'm just going to go down and lock up before I come back and join you for a nap, okay?"

I just nodded my head. A short while later, I felt Jasper wrap himself around me. In the next instant, I was asleep with unanswered questions and a heavy heart.

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**A.N. Sorry there weren't any lemons in this chapter. Edward really needed to start realising that perhaps the way his parents acted wasn't normal and Jasper needed to see that Edward is a wee bit messed up. **

**So what did you think?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I tried to reply to all of you but I may have missed some. Your reviews make my day. Also big thanks to OCDJen and dtav for taking time out of their busy lives to go through chapter for me.**

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EPOV

Okay, I'm ready to take my relationship to the next level with Jasper,and by ready I mean I'm so horny I may start molesting the couch cushions. The only problem? Jasper has yet to make a move and we haven't discussed preferences yet. I had thought about bringing it up over lunch, or more specifically over honey sandwiches. It would go something like, "Hey Jasper, do you know what margarine and I have in common? We both like to be under something." I decided against that approach in fear that he would think I had some sort of sandwich spread fetish.

We've been together for a little over a month now and it's starting to really bother me that he doesn't appear to want more. Practically every night has been spent together so I'm not sure what he's waiting for and I have no idea how to initiate the conversation. I keep hoping he'll bring it up or better yet, that I wake up to him ravishing me. Yeah, I think I'd prefer the ravishing over a conversation. Fuck, now I'm all frustrated and confused! Why can't Jasper just put me out of my misery already? There is only so much a guy can take before he snaps and having to look at Jasper all cowboy-ed up everyday is not helping the situation!

Tonight, I'll talk to him tonight. Or I'll chicken out like I have done every other day this week. No, it's time to man up and have a grown up conversation about sex, by that I mean I will subtly hint at the topic until he starts the conversation.

Rolling over, I pat the bed in search of Jasper. The alarm hasn't sounded so it must still be early, yet my hand comes up empty. The only thing beside me is the cold, empty side of bed. _Where the fuck has he gone?_ Groaning, I get out of bed and search for him, only to find him sitting in the kitchen, ready for work and drinking his coffee. He's sitting at my kitchen table slowly bringing the coffee cup up to those plump, pursed lips. It's going to be a long shower before work today.

"What are you doing up so early?" I ask walking over and kissing him softly.

"Jacob called about a development in a case we've been working on so I have to go in early." He answers before taking another sip of his coffee. My eyes focus on his lips again, and all my thoughts are focused on not stripping down and jumping on the table whilst begging Jasper to take me. I shake my head slightly to clear that thought.

"Will you be here for dinner tonight?" What I'm really asking is if he will be home for the awkward discussion I'm hoping to have tonight.

"Yeah I should be. I'll call and let you know if I'm going to be late. Do you want me to grab a pizza on my way home?" He asked in his sweet southern twang. His accent distracted me and it took me a minute to answer him.

"No, it's okay I was going to make lasagna. It's been a while since I've had it." That and I'm hoping the way to a man's heart is his stomach, or in my case, the way to his cock. Wow, I sound like a whore.

"Yum, I can't wait. Well, I have to get going but I'll give you a call if I'm going to be late, okay babe?" I just nod my head as he rises from the table. Jasper plants a sweet kiss on my forehead before he leaves.

I have an hour before I have to start getting ready for work, so I decide to use this time wisely by freaking out about tonight's conversation. There are two sides of me and they are currently warring with each other. One part of me believes that Jasper should be the one to bring up the conversation. What if he's not ready and he thinks I'm pushing him? Or what if he doesn't want me like that and has just been too polite to tell me? Then there's the other side, the horny side. That part of me just wants to beg him to fuck me. The painful problem in my pants indicates that my horny side is definitely winning this fight. This is despite the fact that I've already chickened out a few times.

The fight within me causes the hour to fly by and before I know it I had to get ready for work. So far I'd settled in fairly well at work. The people, all bar Rosalie, had welcomed me with open arms. Esme has taken me under her wing and is constantly checking to make sure that things are going well. We had spent a few lunches together, in the last month, and she would listen to me and regale me with tales of her kids growing up. Any time she spoke of her children, her eyes held so much love and it was clear how proud of them she was. Despite the fact that Peter was only a mechanic, she appeared just as proud of him as she was Jasper and Rosalie. A couple of times during our lunches, I found myself wondering if my mother would have been proud of me if I chose to be a mechanic. There was no doubt in my mind that the answer was a huge no. She had been so angry when I told her I wanted to become teacher instead of becoming a lawyer just like my father. It was a disappointment to her that I chose not to follow in my father's footsteps. She only allowed me to become a teacher because, according to her, I would become the Principal of the high school in Forks. I never wanted to become a Principal, I was just happy to teach music.

I've also become close to Alice and Bella, not that I had much choice. Alice would call and tell me where I was to meet her and what we would be doing. It was sort of nice to have a friendship where everything was planned out for me. The only problem with spending time with those girls is the level of detail they want. They want to know what I've done to Jasper and what he's done to me; I'm expecting them to ask for pictures next. Who knew women loved the thought of gay men together so much? Although I try my hardest not to give too many details, but Alice pesters me until I give in.

So far Jasper's family seems accepting but deep down I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for them to realize that they're disgusted by the fact Jasper's gay. I'm waiting for them to look and blame me and for them to want nothing else to do with me. There's no time to dwell on that thought as I have children to teach and a conversation to fret about.

The day flies by fairly quickly and I'd manage to avoid Rosalie so it was a good day. Now I have to make the lasagna that's going to make Jasper want to jump me. Thankfully, cooking dinner keeps my mind busy and I am not able to concentrate on what I'm going to say to Jasper. That had always been my downfall every other time I attempted this conversation. I would spend so long over thinking it that when the time came to talk to Jasper I had no courage left. I would convince myself that it was up to him when we had sex and that he should be the one to initiate things. The more he came over dressed in his black cowboy hat and boots, the less I was willing to wait for him to initiate things.

From the kitchen, I could faintly hear the sound of keys jingling indicating that Jasper was home. Nervous as hell, I held my breath as he made his way into the kitchen. Now that I no longer had dinner to focus on, my thoughts were free to wander to the many ways in which I can royally fuck this up. Just as I was about to chicken out, in walks Jasper, all dressed for work and with his hat still on. Yep, that definitely strengthens my resolve to talk about things during dinner.

"Hey babe, how was work?" Jasper asks walking over and placing a kiss on the back of my neck. Feeling his warm body pressed into my back and his lips on my neck, resulted in an instant hard on.

"Hmm it was okay." I reply distracted by his closeness. He chuckled against my neck and the vibrations had me holding in a moan.

"Dinner smells good." Jasper stated not so subtly sniffing the meal I was dishing up. I indicated for him to take his place at the table. We began eating our meals, occasionally making conversation but mostly we were silent while I was working up enough courage to talk to Jasper.

"Um, Jasper could I, um, talk to you about, ah, something?" I ask stuttering nervously. Jasper's only response was to nod his head with an amused smirk on his face. "Well I've been wondering why we've never um, you know, talked about sex?" Well that was awkward.

Jasper chokes on his mouthful but after swallowing he quickly regains his composure. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest as he looks at me; he appears to be searching for something. I'm guessing he found whatever it was because he sighs quietly and sets his cutlery down indicating that I have his complete attention.

"As you know, I've only ever had one real relationship before you and the way that things progressed meant it didn't require having a conversation about preferences. So I'm not sure what the protocol is for discussing who does what in the bedroom." The word vomit that spilled out of me was fuelled by my nerves.

"Edward, slow down." Jasper said clearly trying to hold in his laughter. "What about sex, exactly, do you want to talk about?"

I pretend to ignore the slight patronizing tone he was using, opting instead to just answer his question. "I don't know how I'm supposed to ask this but I'm just going to come straight out and ask." I pause to gather some courage. "Do you top and bottom?"

Jasper's lip twitches with the effort it takes to squash his laughter that's bubbling to the surface. Now I'm getting a little pissed. "Okay well there's no beating around the bush with you is there?" I assume Jasper's pause is to collect his thoughts and not him expecting me to answer. When I just continue staring at him, Jasper takes the hint and answers my original question. "Mostly I'm a Top but sometimes I like to switch, what about you? What are your preferences?"

He likes to switch? I can't do that. Oh shit, please don't let him ask me to do that with him. There's no way I would be able to handle the responsibility that comes with topping someone. I know I should answer his question but I'm so caught up in my panicking about what he may ask of me, it took a while for me to gain my bearings enough to answer him.

"I don't top ever." I stated firmly, perhaps too firmly judging by the shocked look on Jasper's face.

"Why?" I'm not sure how to answer his question. If I answer truthfully then he might find out just how many issues I really have and figure I'm not worth the effort.

"I only bottom, it's just the way I prefer things." I answer hoping it's enough to end his line of questioning.

"Fine, but why do you prefer to only bottom?" He practically huffs out and I can see he's getting annoyed.

"It's just the way I am." I answer back, my annoyance rising at his attitude.

"You're not answering my question." He states clearly pissed at me. I don't get what the big deal is anyway, he said he likes to top and I only bottom. To me that means we're on the same page.

"Why does it matter?" Yep, now I'm getting argumentative. This was not the way I wanted this to go. "You prefer to top, I bottom so what's the problem?"

"I don't care that you only bottom, I just want to know why." Jasper's eyes and tone soften, pleading with me to just answer his question. I'm powerless against the pouting of his lips so I give in and answer.

"To me, topping comes with power and responsibility and I don't think I'm ready for that." Jasper looks a little confused at my explanation so I try to elaborate a little more. "When you're on top, you're responsible for the safety and pleasure of the person bottoming for you. It's your responsibility to go at a pace that won't hurt or cause that person any pain. You're responsible for their pleasure, to me that gives you power. Power I'm not ready to have."

Jasper's blond brows scrunch up as he thinks over my answer. "I kind of understand where you're coming from, but you have to understand where I'm coming from." Jasper says after a minute, I just nod for him to continue. "My job is stressful and I'm responsible for so much. One error on my part could result in a criminal walking free. Sometimes, and I mean only occasionally, I like to come home and have someone make love to me. Sometimes I need someone else to be in control and to allow me to focus only on what's happening to my body."

I have no idea what to say as I can understand where he's coming from, but I can't give that to him. Of course I wish I could, but I can't, it's just not who I am. A part of me hopes that one day I could possibly give him that but I know it's not something I'm capable of at the moment. "I understand, but I'm not sure if I can." I whisper out.

Jasper reaches his hand over and caresses my cheek. "I'm not asking you to agree to top for me, I just wanted you to understand why I will sometimes want it." His voice is soft and reassuring but I can detect a hint of irritation in it. Rather than question him on it, I try to direct the conversation away from our preferences.

"Why haven't you tried to have sex with me before now?" Holy shit! I did not mean for that to come out. Jasper just laughs and shakes his head at me.

"Believe me, I've wanted nothing more than to have sex with you but you always seem so unsure of everything, so I thought I would wait for you to bring it up." Jasper's hand, that was on my cheek, slowly slid down to my jaw line and then finally rested on the back of my neck. With a gentle push, he brought my head forward, our lips meeting in a passionate kiss. Pulling away slightly, Jasper mumbles against my lips. "Now that we've talked about it, what do you say to taking this upstairs?"

I practically jump out of my seat and sprint for the stairs. _Jasper's going to fuck me; Jasper's going to fuck me!_ Is the song in my head as I run to the bedroom with Jasper following closely behind me. Once in the bedroom, Jasper grabs me and presses me against the now closed door. _How did I not hear him close it?_ The question quickly vanishes from my mind as Jasper roughly joins our lips, while thrusting his tongue into my mouth. The taste of Jasper on my tongue has me groaning and pressing my hips against his. I can feel how hard he is already. Jasper breaks the kiss but his lips never leave my skin, rather they travel across my face and come to rest on my ear.

"Do you want me to fuck you, Edward?" His voice is deep and husky and all I can do is moan while nodding my head vigorously at him.

"I didn't hear you; do you want me to fuck you?" He punctuated the end of his question with a thrust of his hips into mine. Does he seriously expect me to answer? My thoughts are barely coherent; I hardly think I'm capable of speech.

"Y-yes," I half stutter, half moan. Apparently that's all Jasper needed to hear as he gripped my waist and pulled me over to the bed. Standing at the end of the bed, he forcefully kisses me, while his hands are undoing the buttons of my forest green shirt. Once all the buttons are undone, he runs his hands back up my stomach and pushes the shirt off my shoulders. As my shirt crumples to the ground, I grab Jasper's and bring it up over his head, and throw it somewhere in the room. Just as I was about to reach for Jasper's belt buckle, he started kissing his way down my stomach. Before I had a chance to blink, Jasper had undone my belt, yanking down both my jeans and boxers in one go.

Jasper practically threw me on the bed, not that I minded, and stood in front of me slowly undoing his belt, and then his jeans, letting them fall to the floor. In typical Jasper fashion, he was going commando so I was greeted with the mouth watering sight of his thick, hard cock. At a pace that had me whimpering, Jasper crawled over me with his lips caressing as much skin as they could. After what felt like an eternity, Jasper was finally on top of me with his lips forcefully mending themselves to mine. The kiss was hard and so passionate that I bucked into him, making our hard erections rub against each other in the most delicious of way causing us both to moan.

Jasper whispered, "Are you sure?" in my ear before moving off me to grab the condoms and lube out of the top drawer. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that this is what I wanted, what I had wanted since the moment he walked into the bar. I'm still nodding as he sits back between my legs. Jasper leans over and places soft, tender kisses just below my stomach. His lips ghost further down until they stop just above my pubic bone. Suddenly, I feel his wet finger tracing along my entrance. My body naturally tenses. It's been years since anyone's been near that part of my body. Jasper's tongue traces the length of my cock at the exact moment he pushes his finger in my ass. It takes me a moment to relax but Jasper's tongue is still tracing my cock, so I choose to focus on that rather than his finger probing my entrance.

My entire body tenses as Jasper adds another finger. "Relax babe, I'll take care of you." My extremely hard cock is then encased in Jasper's warm, wet mouth. I concentrate on the pleasure his mouth is giving me rather than the sting of what his fingers are doing. It only takes a moment for the stinging to give way to pleasure and I'm pushing my ass back against his fingers, needing more. Jasper takes the hint and adds another finger, thrusting in and out of my puckered hole. My moans turn to whimpers once Jasper removes his fingers from my ass.

I watch as he sits up and tears open the small foil packet, and rolls the condom, at a tortuously slow pace, down his cock. I'm about to beg and plead for him to fuck me already as he pours lube on his now covered cock. Jasper doesn't break eye contact as he slowly enters me. There's no denying that it stings like a bitch but just the thought of him being in me is worth the discomfort. I remind myself to breath and relax. Once Jasper has fully entered me, he pauses to allow me to adjust to the intrusion.

"You can move," I moan out once the discomfort has left. Jasper slowly thrusts into me and all coherent thought leaves.

"You feel so fucking tight babe," He grunts out while speeding up his thrusts. Jasper shifted slightly when he sped up his thrusts, resulting in his thrusts hitting my prostrate. My neighbors could probably hear the high pitched moans that were ripping from my body. Jasper leans into me further trapping me under his weight, and my cock is between our sweat slicked bodies. My stomach tightened in the tell tale signs that I wasn't going to last much longer.

An embarrassing few thrusts later and I'm spilling my seed all over the both of our stomachs. Jasper moves above me a couple more times before stilling and filling the condom. Never before have I felt so sated, my entire body feels like jelly. My body whines at the loss when Jasper pulls out and walks to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Without my permission, my eyes close. In my semi-conscious state, I hear Jasper come back into the room. I'm only vaguely aware of something warm wiping over my body before I hear Jasper again exiting the room. Just as I'm about to succumb to unconsciousness, I feel Jasper slip into the bed behind me and press my back into his chest. It's in that position that I finally allow sleep to claim me. It's the happiest I've ever been.

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**Please review and let me know what you think**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN Hi guys, sorry for taking so long to update by RL has been pretty damn busy. This chapter isn't as long as the other's but I think it lets us into Edward's head a little more and helps us to understand how he interprets what's happened in his life so far. **

**Thanks a lot to dtav and OCDJen for taking time out of their busy lives to make this chapter presentable.**

**I still don't own twilight, sucks to be me.**

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EPOV

Things with Jasper have been going well. I think I irk the shit out of him sometimes but he doesn't say anything, he just stomps around slamming shit and then spends the night at his place. Sometimes I hear him mumbling under his breath about raising a child, but I have no idea what he's on about. Unless, he has a child he hasn't told me about. But that can't be right as we spend all our free time together so wouldn't he be worried about raising it? Damn, this is confusing the hell out of me. Jasper has spent every night at his house this week. It's my mother's birthday tomorrow and I've been a little testy, panicky and all together crazy. Jasper, having no idea about the source behind my behavior, puts up with it for so long before storming out of the house with his panties in a twist.

Not having Jasper around at night has given me some time to think about things, namely my parents. I wonder if they were still alive whether they really would hate who I've become. I'd like to think that once they saw how happy Jasper has made me that they would accept us, but I have a feeling that they wouldn't have. Then I feel guilty for doubting my dead parents like that. After all they raised me, provided for me and mostly made sure I was happy, right? Sure they were a little pushy about certain things, but that's what all parents are like. They just wanted what was best for me. Maybe if I had spoken up about how miserable I was then things may have been different. My parents wouldn't have wanted me to be deliberately miserable, right?

_How come they couldn't tell how miserable you were?_ My thoughts taunt me. Maybe I'm a better actor than I thought. If Jessica never became suspicious then why would my parents? They clothed, fed, housed me, and paid for my tuition, so I can hardly be upset by the one fault they appeared to have had. Compared to some childhoods out there, mine was hardly anything worth crying about.

Perhaps if I had said something, let somebody in, things would have been different, better; but I didn't. So, maybe I should be focusing on the role I played. I was always secretive and withdrawn, always the one who kept people at arms length. Doubts and insecurities flood me as I begin to question how I could have done better.

For the first time since my parents death, I realize I haven't grieved for them yet. I'm pretty sure I've yet to shed a single tear over their death. What kind of human being doesn't even cry over the death of his parents? Once I was informed by the officers, knocking on my door, of the accident I went straight into planning their funerals. After all the funeral plans had been finalized, I moved on to ending my relationship with Jess and applying for a new job anywhere but there in Forks. The entire time I was so focused on myself and what their death meant for me that I didn't even take a moment to reflect on the fact that my parents were dead, they were never coming back. Selfish. There isn't any other way to describe me other than I was selfish.

My fingers dance along the ivory keys beneath them and a tear sides down my cheek as I think about how I failed them as a son. I failed to be who they wanted me to be, I failed to mourn them as a good son would, but mostly I failed to love them as a son should. Despite the fact that I know it's wrong, I can't help the resentment I feel towards them. Now I feel sick to my stomach that I resent and am angry at people who are unable to defend themselves. One stray thought enters my mind, _who have I become?_

The click of the door closing breaks me from my thoughts and my fingers still on the keys. I whip my head around, curious to see who interrupted my playing. Standing just in front of the door is an apologetic looking Esme. I smile at her, letting her know that I'm not upset, although with all my earlier thoughts still swimming around in my mind it comes out as a grimace. Wordlessly, she walks towards me, pauses for a second before engulfing me in a tight hug. I make no effort to stop the tears from falling as Esme's warmth and love surrounds me offering me comfort. I'm not sure how long we stay in the embrace, but eventually my tears stop falling and Esme releases her hold on me.

"I'm here if you want to talk," her soft voice echo's in the empty room. I freeze, unsure if I should take her up on her offer. Right now I want nothing more than to let it all out, hoping that by purging my soul some of the guilt I feel will lessen.

"I don't know where to start or what to say," I tell her honestly. She just smiles softly at me before replying. "Start at the beginning, dear."

I do as I'm told and start at the beginning, explaining my lonely childhood, the lies and secrets I had to keep as a teenager, and my pain at having to live out a life that made me unhappy, just to appease my mother. Esme sat quietly as I told her about my taste of freedom in college, how it left me with no doubts that I was gay. She wiped my tears away as I explained to her how much harder it made going back home to my empty life. I told her all about Jess and what a farce that relationship was. Finally, I tell her of my parents' death, and my guilt at the anger and resentment I'm holding onto. I also explain my guilt at not having grieved for them, at having felt relief in their passing. Esme, being the sweetheart that she is, just held me as I let out my tears, guilt and eventually, my insecurities. We speak about my doubts about being what Jasper wants, the lingering insecurities I have about his not wanting to have sex with me until I brought it up. I know that he said that he was just waiting for me to say something, but that nagging voice in the back of my head keeps suggesting that he was stalling because he didn't really want to have sex with me. Lastly, I explain to Esme my one fear that I wasn't aware I held until the words were out of my mouth. What if I never know what it's like to make love? What if I'm unlovable? If my own mother couldn't love me for who I was, then how can I expect anybody else to?

I raise my eyes to Esme's, which are filled with unshed tears, and I can't help but wonder if this perfect woman's son is capable of one day loving someone like me. Esme meets my stare, not looking away once, and for that I'm grateful because with our eyes connected I can't help but hope that one day someone could love me, the real me.

"Oh dear, I had no idea of what you were going through. I could tell there was sadness in your eyes but I had no clue," Esme says softly, and gently. "Of course you're able to be loved. You, Edward, are an amazing young man and anyone would be lucky to have you. As for your mother, I can't comprehend any mother not loving her child but if she didn't love you for who you are, then that's her loss. Edward, I wish I could give you all the answers about how you feel, but I can't. Perhaps you should look into talking to someone; you might want to start with Jasper. I know he cares for you and would like to know what's going on in your head."

Nodding my head, I assure her that I will tell Jasper everything but I just need some more time. Despite her advice, I have no desire to go see a shrink. Those are for crazy fucked up people. I am not crazy nor am I fucked up, I just need some time to work through all my emotions. After a few more minutes, Esme gets up and walks out of the room, not before reminding me of dinner on Sunday evening. I mumble my assent and watch her go. I'm grateful to Esme for being here, but there is no way in hell that I need to see a shrink.

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**Please review and let me know what you think. I'm thinking maybe we should here from Jasper next and see what his point of view of what's been happening is, yes or no?**


	7. JPOV

**Hello all, sorry it has been so long since I last updated but between a sick kid in and out of hospital and flooding in my town, I'm a Queenslander, I just haven't found the time to finish this chapter. This chap is all me, there has been no prereading or betaing, I figured you waited so long I didn't want to make people wait any longer. I apologize in advance for any mistakes I made.**

**Just for a change this chapter is Jasper's point of view, I think he has more to say but it might be in a few more chapters. **

**I still don't own twilight, shocking I know.**

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Work has been kicking my ass big time these last couple of weeks and boy was I dying to get out of here and down to the local. It would be good to just hang out with the gang and unwind, forget about all the other shit that's been happening. Who really gives a fuck about a drug trafficking ring involving the college students? On most days I would, but today I couldn't give a fuck if they were beating each other with coke laced baseball bats. I just want a fucking beer, is that really so much to ask. Thankfully Jacob walks in and saves the day by telling me it's knock off time.

Now we can finally meet the gang for drinks. Jacob's missus, Bella, going to be there and I'm not going to lie but she grates on my fucking nerves. She's practically glued to Alice has been since I introduced them, after Jacob and myself were first partnered together a few years ago. They now own a bar together, it's always been Alice's dream to own a bar. Alice, dear sweet Alice, she's a fucking fantastic sister-in-law and a whole lot of crazy. I do believe her first words to me were, "You're really fuckable for a gay guy, you into threesomes?" I burst out laughing while informing her that I was not going near her girly bits ever and we've been best friends since. Then she married Peter, who is equally as fucked up as her, and became my sister and unfortunately bought Bella with her along for the ride.

Outside the bar we're met by Peter, Bella, Rose and Emmett. Rose is my bitchy twin sister but I love her and the big ass oaf she calls a husband, although him and Peter together can get damn embarrassing. Alice is manning the bar tonight meaning I get to spend time with Bella, and I thought this day couldn't get any worse. I really don't know how Jacob isn't an alcoholic having to spend so much damn time with her.

Immediately after we walk into the bar I could feel someone's eyes on me. Unable to contain my curiosity or irritation at being stared at I looked in the direction I could feel the stare coming from. I was prepared to flip the fucker off until I got a good look at him. The first thing I noticed were deep emerald eyes focused entirely on my body, moving ever so slowly over every inch of my body. Normal it would piss me off having someone so obviously ogle me but damn I could feel my dick reacting. The last thing I needed was for him to see how my body reacted to him, and with the way his eyes were locked on my jeans he would definitely see. Trying to distract myself from his pale skin, coppery hair and luscious lips that he was now licking I started walking towards my table. I quickly nodded my head in greeting to Alice, still a little pissed that I had to spend the evening with Bella instead of her. I force my eyes to not look back at the beautiful man at the bar.

My eyes eventually won the battle and found the strange man despite my efforts. Noticing that he was locked into a conversation with Alice, not an easy thing to get out of, I allowed myself a few moments to just ogle him. There was no doubting his beauty but what I noticed more was the air of vulnerability to him. His shoulder's were slightly hunched clearly displaying his lack of confidence. There was a sadness to him that I just couldn't place but I couldn't deny that I wanted to spend a lot of time figuring out the reason behind it. Never, and I mean never, before have I cared enough about a stranger to wonder what was going on in there head. I'm not going to pretend that I haven't gotten friendly with a few strangers because I have but they were just quick fucks, there was barely any talking. The words that came out of their mouths were anything but deep and meaningful, maybe a version of the word deep came out a few times.

Completely forgetting about the people at my table I quietly observed the man with the staring problem at the bar, although now I'm the one with the staring problem. He was a mystery and damn me if I wasn't fucking intrigued. He had looks that could rival any Calvin Klein model, believe me I have studied their pictures personally and thoroughly, and yet he seemed so insecure, so unsure of himself. His uncertainty was almost tangible making him seem so fragile and vulnerable. I couldn't help but watch him as he had a conversation with Alice, the poor thing seemed so lost and out of his depth. The way his eyes slowly trailed over my body as I entered the bar kind of alluded to the fact that he was attracted to me so when he sent me over a drink I wasn't all that surprised. What was surprising, however, was that he had sent over my favourite drink. I'm guessing that Alice had something to do with that, the girl just had to meddle. As Alice was dropping off the drink she whispered in my ear, "He really likes you Jay and he's so sweet." I looked over at him, watching me with anxiousness and nervousness rolling off him in waves. Not wanting to see that look on his face any longer I held up my drink with a smile, silently informing him that I accept his drink. There are so many other things I would accept from him as well. His answering smile was beautiful, I got a glimpse of how truly beautiful he could be if he just relaxed.

Alice walked back over to him and began another conversation with the mystery man, by now my curiosity was out of control and had propelled me from my seat until I was standing next to the intriguing creature. I could see every muscle in his body tense, he was bracing himself but for what I had no idea. Sweet Alice introduced him as her friend and he looked at her as though he was trying to determine when it was exactly that they became friends. Poor thing doesn't realise yet that now there's no getting rid of Alice, once she claims you as a friend you're a friend for life. I was so busy being entertained by his reaction to Alice's statement that it took me a moment to realize she had introduced him as Edward. Edward, it kind of suited him, it's a little stiff just like him.

"Hello Edward." I drawled, accentuating my accent just a little bit. It had the desire affect as I noticed a slight flush to his cheeks. His blushing was no where as annoying as Bella's, all that girl did was blush. "Thank you for the drink."

He smiled widely as I thanked him and I swear my heart skipped a beat. Wow I sound like a fucking pansy. His voice was like crushed velvet and went straight to my cock when he answered. "You're welcome Jasper. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Not yet it's not." I mumbled hopefully to low for him to hear. He had no idea how pleasurable I could make this meeting. My cock drooled at the thought.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He questioned trying to sound innocent but it came out a little squeaky, I wonder what he was thinking about. Not wanting to admit to my thoughts I quickly answered. "I said, it's a pleasure to meet you as well darlin'."

I slid onto the stool next to him purposely brushing myself against him enjoying the warmth that spread through me at the contact. I was so tempted to pull him onto my lack, just to have that warmth in contact with my dick. Edward sniffed me, no fucking joke, the guy actually took a great big whiff of me. He must have enjoyed the smell as he slowly starting leaning towards me again, but caught himself at the last moment. Rather than creeped out, I found it fucking amusing that he was actually sniffing me. It took all my self control not to laugh.

In an attempt to draw my thought away from his strange sniffing and hold in my laughter, I decided to strike up a conversation. "So what brings you to Austin, Edward?"

Edward's reaction to my question was very interesting. A few emotions crossed his face, lust, fear, guilt, sadness, loneliness and finally determination before he answered. "I was offered a job at the elementary school and was ready for a change."

Hmm, it would appear there is more to his move then he wanted me to know. I couldn't help but be curious at to why the real reason behind his move but something about him reminded me of a wounded animal and I realized I had to tread carefully. Instead of straight out questioning him, like the cop in me wanted to do, I decided to just keep asking innocent questions.

"Really, what do you teach?" I asked a little too intrigued by the answer, hoping it would give me some idea about this mysterious man. Something in me desired to know everything about him.

"I'm a music teacher," he replied somewhat weary and confused.

I just smirked at him as I realised he would be working with my mama. Now I'd have more of a chance to figure him out, if Rosalie didn't eat him first. He seemed so confused by my smirk that I decided to take pity on him and let him in on who his new boss is. "My mama is the principal and my twin sister teaches first grade."

Edward sort of paled at my answer and I could see the thought churning in his head. He seemed worried for a few seconds and then that earlier look of determination was there again.

"Well, I guess I'll be meeting them on Monday." He replied smiling beautifully at me. It's amazing how gorgeous he is when he's not uptight and anxious. I had no doubt that this man had some secrets but everything about he screamed to me that he was a good person, just reserved with a few issues. I hoped that I could get him to let his guard down and relax a little more often, because this Edward I wanted to know. Edward was lost in thought for a few minutes so I spent them tracing his facial features with my eyes.

"I have to go home as I have to get up early to unpack some more and do my lesson plans before Monday, but would you like to meet me for coffee tomorrow?" He sounded confident but I could still detect the doubt in his eyes. There was no fucking way that I would be turning him down.

"That sounds great, darlin'." I replied with a smile that caused his breath to hitch. Edward and I then swapped numbers with the promise that he would call the next day and I offered to walk him out.

"Well I should be going," Edward reluctantly mumbled.

"Mmm, you should," I think I answered him although most of my attention was focused on his tight ass. Hmm, the things I could do to that. His ass looked so fucking hot in those jeans, what did he do paint the fuckers on?

Once Edward turned around and busted me shamelessly checking out his ass I didn't have the decency to look ashamed instead I redirected my attention to the front of his pants. I was lost in my study of the slight bulge in his jeans that it took me a moment to realise that Edward was slowly leaning towards me. I wanted to speed this kiss up and just crush him to me but I was afraid that would freak him the fuck out. Edward's soft lips pressed against mine and I began to slowly return the kiss when thing got out of hand. Edward pressed his firm body against my, slowly dragging his tongue along my bottom lip and I wasted no time in granting him entry. My mouth was assaulted with the taste of peaches and a hint of vodka. His taste alone had my cock leaking like a faucet, the damn thing had a mind of it's own and pressed itself against Edward's thigh. We both broke apart when the need for air became apparent.

"Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow darlin'." I said somewhat breathlessly before quickly pecking his lips.

"Yeah." Edward replied sounding equally out of breath. "I'll call you in the morning. I really should be going. Goodbye, Jasper."

"Goodbye, Edward." I farewelled before going back inside the pub.

Once I was inside Bella was there attempting to wag her eyebrows suggestively, but only ended up looking like a complete wanker. Fuck I couldn't stand her. I stayed for one more drink before getting the hell out of there. Listening to Bella's grating voice, my brother and Emmett's teasing and being subjected to Alice's staring was starting to piss me off. At home I stripped down to my boxers and jumped into bed contemplating the strange but beautiful man I had met tonight.

I was in no way an innocent man but there was something about him that made me feel out of my depth. I wanted to know the source behind the pain in his eyes, I wanted to fix it. This wasn't the Jasper I was used to, if a relationship seemed like a lot of work, I was out of there. But this man made me want to be around long enough to get my questions answered. All I could do now was go to sleep and hope that he actually called tomorrow.

When I woke the next morning I couldn't stop the doubts from swirling around in my head. Edward seemed so unsure of himself that I doubted he would have the confidence to call me. I knew that I could call him any time I liked but I wanted to be sure this is what he wanted. There was just something so innocent about him and I didn't just want to be his experiment, I wanted him to be sure that I was what he wanted. The morning passed without a word from him, the more time that passed the more resigned I became.

I was lounging on the couch in nothing but my pyjama pants when I heard the familiar sound of my cell phone ringing. Looking at the screen excitement shot through me at the name, Edward.

"Hello," I drawled my excitement making my accent thicker and I heard him release a deep breath. Poor Edward, he must be so fucking nervous.

"Hello Jasper, it's Edward." He spoke sounding somewhat confident, although I could hear his voice shake slightly.

"Well, hello darlin'. I was hoping to hear from you today." I tried to put him at ease. That and I really was hoping to hear from him today, even though I doubted he'd actually have the balls to call me.

My comment worked just as I had intended to and when he next spoke it was with more confidence. "I was wondering if you were free around two for coffee?"

_Fuck yes and then when we're finished I'm going to bend you over the table and..._ So not what I should be thinking about. Fuck now I need something to make my dick go down. Bella, yep thought of her always had him shrivelling up. I was so caught up in my coffee table fantasy that I failed to answer him so I quickly replied, "Two sounds great. There's a little place across from the bar. We could meet there if you like?"

"Sure, that's just down the road from me. So I'll see you at two then?" He went back to sounding nervous, he really was just too adorable. I should just hand him my balls now.

"Yep, sure will darlin'." I responded still embarrassed about the adorable thought.

"Anyway, I should go because I've got a couple things to finish before this afternoon." Edward broke me out of my thoughts regarding me embarrassment by sounding flustered and nervous.

"Okay then, I'll see you at two?" I didn't even attempt to hide my disappointment about our conversation being cut short. I wanted to keep talking to him, find out all his secrets, hopes and dreams. _Oh fuck, there goes my balls again. I'm a fucking Ranger I do not to hearts and rainbows. I may be gay but I'm no fucking fairy._

"I'll see you then." Edward replied sounding fucking rushed, like he couldn't wait to get off the phone.

"Okay bye," I spoke quietly before ending the call.

Now I had to find something to do to entertain myself until I could see him later today. I decided to call Alice and find out what she thought about Edward.

"Hey honey," She answered overly cheery.

"Hi Alice," I reply a whole fucking less cheery. "I was calling to find out what you thought about Edward last night."

The other end of the line is quiet and it started making me nervous, maybe she didn't like him as much as I thought she did.

"He seemed nice," Alice finally broke the silence but her voice was hesitant.

"But?" I ask unsure what about him made her so hesitant.

"But there's something so sad and lost about him. I just wanted to hug him and offer him some comfort. I didn't think he'd be your type, you're usually into easy uncomplicated relationships and I have a feeling that being with him will be anything but easy and uncomplicated." Alice rambled on at top speed, man could that girl talk. She was right though, usually I wouldn't have considered meeting someone like Edward because I wouldn't want to deal with his "issues". All my past relationships have been fairly simple and only ended because there was no real spark. It took just one look at Edward to know that being with him is going to have its own problems. For the life of me I can't figure out why I'm willing to give him a shot.

"I know Alice but there's something about him," I say quietly, feeling a little lost.

"Jasper I saw it too and I think this may be a good thing for you," Alice responds sounding somewhat sympathetic. A few minutes later Alice and I said our goodbyes and I started getting ready for my coffee date.

I settled on a simple outfit of jeans and a button-up shirt, casual yet still showing off the body that I work damn hard for. It was finally time to leave so I grabbed my keys and started walking to the coffee shop, it was only a couple of blocks away.

Once I was outside the coffee shop I noticed Edward looking around with a panicked expression on his face. After a couple minutes of panicking Edward finally noticed me and replaced the anxiousness with lust as he full out eye fucked me.

Edward broke the silence by whining, "What, no badge and hat today?"

One look at his face and there was no stopping the chuckle that escaped my lips, the boy was completely mortified and apparently into men in uniform. I offered him a simple explanation, "No, no badge or hat today. I'm off duty."

His eyebrows scrunched up in the most adorable way, and there goes my balls. What grown man uses the word adorable? Although that is the best way to describe him, he's adorable

"But why were you at the bar last night if you were on duty?" Edward asks looking uncomfortable with the idea.

"I wasn't on duty last night," I answered simply. The poor boy still looked confused so I continued on, "I had just finished my shift and was still carrying one of my guns. I don't take my badge off while I am still armed."

Never before have I met a person who could go through so many fucking emotions in a short period of time. First he looked like a little boy who had just been scolded and then he shifted straight to lust, which then morphed into embarrassment. Edward's embarrassment transformed into pure fucking nerves. Not only did he have so many mood swings but he seemed to be operating in a constant state of anxiety. The question was, what made this gorgeous man so nervous about everything?

"Well darlin', how about we head inside and grab some coffee?" I ask hoping to calm him.

"Yep sure," Edward replied seeming relieved. I smiled and entered the coffee shop with Edward right behind me, and his eyes firmly glued to my ass. He pulled out his fucking wallet to pay, excuse me but if anyone on this date is the man it's me and as the man I will be fucking paying.

"I've got this," I say firmly leaving him with no room to argue. Edward hesitated for a moment, debating whether to argue or not, before giving in and putting his wallet back in his pants. It required all my self control to not roll around on the floor at the look Edward was giving the cashier. He looked as though he was considering strangling her with her own extensions. It would appear as though Edward has a little problem with jealousy.

Edward was so busy glaring at the girl behind the counter that I had to ask him what he wanted twice before he answered. "Um, a skinny mocha thanks."

"And you?" Blondie asked attempting to sound seductive and failing miserably.

"Just a straight black, thanks." I stated simply dismissing her before Edward's eyes did some serious damage to her. I quickly paid before leading Edward to a table in the back corner, wanting to be alone with him. Glancing back at Edward as I guide us towards the back of the room, I notice he looks a little confused and possibly hurt. What is it with this boy and his strange emotional trips? I quickly explained to him why I was leading us towards the back of the room. Edward seem to relax at my statement. Well, that a complete fucking lie, he had one of his mood swings where he went from sulking to have in no time. I couldn't help but smirk when he eagerly threw himself into the chair.

"Why don't you tell me about yourself darlin'?" I ask, my eyes never breaking contact with his deep emerald ones, more than qualified to see through any bullshit he may say. I've been on a few dates where they've claimed they were in the navy or a fireman, but thanks to my ranger training I knew they were full of shit. I'm curious about what tales Edward will try to spin.

"Well, I'm twenty-six and I just moved here. I enjoy music and love teaching." Edward replied completely truthfully. That threw me for a loop I was expecting some bullshit story but his answer was honest and simple. He seemed a little defeated when he uttered, "There's really not much else to tell you."

"How about I tell you about me then?" I ask wanting to distract him for what ever caused him to sound so defeated. I raised my eyebrow in question and had the pleasure of watching Edwards eyes darken with lust. "Okay then, I'm twenty-nine and have been a ranger for almost five years. I'm technically the youngest as Rosalie was born three minutes before me and the bitch won't let me forget it."

Both Edward and I chuckled at my lame attempt at humor. "As you know, my mama is the principal at the elementary school," I continued on when he nodded his head. "Well, my dad is a surgeon at the hospital and my brother Peter is a mechanic along with Rosalie's husband Emmett."

We, well I, spent the next twenty or so minutes talking about or families and friends. It didn't escape my notice that the more I spoke of my family, the sadder Edwards eyes became. He was extremely hesitant when he talked about his family and I just knew there was more to the story. My favorite parts of our conversations were the moments where Edward would let his guard down and display a little more of the man inside.

For ninety percent of the date Edward was tense and uptight, but for the brief ten percent he was easy going and breathtaking. Edward was truthfully one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. I was so fucking curious about the reason behind his tension but mostly he was making me horny. As he was talking about his life, or should I say dodging questions about his family, I was watching his plump red lips form words. I may or may not have been imaging how fucking hot those lips would be wrapped around my cock as he hollows his cheeks.

I was brought out of my dirty, dirty thoughts as a rare true smile graced his face. And like a fucking pansy my breath hitched, seriously he made my breath hitch. I do not handle this mushy shit well, in fact I'm seriously disgusted with myself right now. But there was no denying how fuck hot he was, and my cock has gone back to twitching. The only time Edward let his guard down was when he was discussing his piano or talking about teaching. I could never understand what my mom and sister loves so much about spending there days surrounded by snotty nosed little brats. I wouldn't last a day before I seriously considered shooting one of them or myself, probably myself. Edward was my complete opposite and spoke animatedly about his memories of teaching the little creatures, I mean children.

Everything was going well, by well I mean I had several fantasies and my cock was straining so hard against my pants in an attempt to escape and meet Edward, oh fuck he really wanted to meet Edward. Our obnoxiously big titted waistress put an end to our date when her tits spilled my fucking coffee all over me. Nothing cures a boner like a boiling hot cup of coffee, the skank.

"Holy shit, that's hot!" I yelled trying to pull the shirt away from my stomach before it melted and forever became a part of me. Edward however wasn't one for missing an opportunity and promptly began dabbing, caressing, my stomach with napkins. I could feel a heat rush through my body that had absolutely nothing to do with the coffee.

"Fucking hell. Now I'm all wet." I was getting real fucking angry and only slightly grateful I wasn't armed, well I should say that waitress should be grateful that I wasn't armed. My twitching hands were willing to forget that I ever took an oath to protect and would be more than happy to do a little harm.

"My place is just up the road and I could lend you a clean shirt if you like?" Edward offered looking extremely hopeful. Who was I to squash his hopes?

"That's sounds great darlin'. Lead the way." I accept his offer grateful for the chance to get out of my melting clothes. I may have watched his ass cheeks rise and fall with every step he took all the way to his place.

"Do you want to stay and watch a movie?" Edward asked sounding a little anxious and unsure of himself. I wouldn't turn down the chance to spend more time with him. I'm sure what it is about him but the more time I spend with him the more I'm drawn to him.

"Sounds good." I replied smiling as Edward went upstairs to retrieve a shirt for me.

"Um, the bathroom is upstairs, second door on the right." He mumbled handing me the shirt and looking at me all lustfully, my cock pressed against my pants wanting his introduction.

"Nah, it's alright darlin'. I"ll just change here if that's okay with you?" I asked in a polite tone attempting to conceal my own lust. Edward seemed incapable of speech as he just nodded mutely and I think he may have been drooling.

Knowing that I had his attention I decided to give him a little show and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. Edward inched closer with every button that I opened until he was standing before me. Out of nowhere he leaned in a pressed our lips together and that heat spread through me again. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip silently requesting permission which he all too eagerly granted. My tongue made quick word of massaging and dominating his. What I was not prepared for was what shy, mysterious Edward did next.

He very slowly moved his tongue down the side of my mouth and neck causing me to moan loudly. Not phased by my moan Edward's tongue continued its dissent down my body, stopping to run over my nipple. The moan that ripped from my body could be heard down the block. My moans only seemed to encourage Edward as his sinful tongue became acquainted with every dip and groove in my stomach. Edwards slightly trembling fingers released by aching cock from their denim confinement. Deep emerald eyes locked with my blue ones, silently begging to let him continue, begging me to not reject him. I nodded because there's no way I would deny him nor would I ever reject him. Without any further hesitation Edward tore my jeans down my legs.

My cock sprung free, happy at the chance to finally be introduced to Edward. Edward just stared at my erect member for a minute before finally continuing his decent down, his tongue trailing a path through my curls and lapping up my precum. His tongue felt so fucking good I had to talk myself out of coming straight away. Without any warning Edward's warm mouth engulfed me, sucking hard. All coherent thought left me after that and all I could do was feel. I felt his tongue massage the underside of my cock, and I felt his tongue swirl around the head as though it was a fucking lollipop. It was all too much when he started massaging my balls and his head bobbing up and down my length.

"Ung... ah.. E-Ed...ward... I'm... cum," I tried to warn him but it seemed to come out as a series of moans. I was barely holding together and hoped to fucking god that he decided if he was going to spit or swallow quickly or else he wouldn't have a choice. My control was seriously slipping.

Edward finally decided and grabbed a handful of my ass holding me in place while he sucked harder, hollowing his cheeks. There was no better sight then his plump red lips wrapped around my cock while he hollowed his cheeks. The sight alone caused me to lose my shit and my cum shot out of my body and down Edward's throat. Edward released me with a pop and my body wanted to whimper at the sense of loss. As I was trying to recover from my fuck awesome orgasm Edward went and picked out a DVD.

"So how about that movie now?" He asked looking all proud, he damn well should be I don't think I've ever blown my load that hard before. I was a little confused that he didn't want me to return the favor, I was more than willing.

"Are you sure?" I asked pointing to his erection, fucking hoping he'd let me taste him. A strange look crossed his face before he smiled that beautiful care free smile.

"I'm sure." He replied patting the seat next to him. Now I've never been much of a cuddler but the chance to sit around with that man in my arms was not something I was going to pass up. I sat on the couch and wrapped my arms around him, bending to place a soft kiss on his lips. Something about the whole thing felt right, as corny as it sounds I felt at home sitting here on the couch with him in my arms. We cuddled for the entire movie and I've never been happier to cuddle, nor have I sounded like such a fucking girl. I'm a gun carrying sissy.

"Will you come over tomorrow night after work and I'll make us some dinner?" He asked looking all hopeful and fucking adorable. And there goes my man card, maybe I should cut off my balls and just hand them to him. It's not like it would be the first time he handled my balls.

"Of course I will darlin'. I get off around seven so I'll see you at around half past?" I replied placing another soft kiss on his lips. I'm not sure what it is about him that brings out my tender side, I'm usually more into the passionate kisses and groping then all this heartfelt tender shit. Something about him makes me want to protect him and treat him right.

"Okay, I'll see you then." He replied kissing me heatedly, which may have scrambled my brain for a minute.

"Goodbye, Edward." I said quietly before turning to leave.

"Goodbye, Jasper." He replied in the same tone.

I went home threw on my boxer and sat on the couch watching TV, although my thought never strayed from my bronzed haired boy. He was still on my mind when I decided to turn in for the night so I sent him a quick text.

_Goodnight darlin_

My eyes had just closed when my phone beeping forced them back open and my heart to race.

_Night Jasper_

As I closed my eyes waiting for sleep to claim me I wondered how Edward had wormed his way under my skin, and awfully close to my heart.

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**Well that was a little dive into Jasper's mind. Please review and let me know what you think. I promise the next chapter won't take so long.**


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